The Time I Made Them Play Real World
by Brownie-luving Icee-chan
Summary: I am sad to say that this is the second to last chapter. There just aren't enough hours in the day for me to write TWO fanfics, deal with my life and still have time to sit back and say 'AHHH'; so, I'm going to reitre real world. Oh shucks, just read!!
1. Default Chapter

Thanks to my little sister, Inuyasha, Tenchi and Harry Potter must suffer!!!!!!!!  
  
Disclaimer: Unfortunately for me, I own nothing of great importance. This includes the characters from Inuyasha, Tenchi, and HP. They are added to the long list of things which do not belong to me.  
  
Now, since I'm not very happy because my best friend won't talk to me because I got my hair done (insane, isn't it?!), my sister is trying to get me in trouble, AND I have NO real tape for my posters, I must vent at my computer. Here goes.  
  
The Time I Made Them Play Real World The Introduction  
  
(Eve's 'Satisfaction' plays in background) Kagome: Hi, everyone! My name's Kagome and I'm from Japan. I am 15 years old. I travel to and from the present to the Sengoku Jidaii to hunt for Shikon Shards, but if Inuyasha had it his way, I'd stay in the past forever, but I still have the rosary. (goes to Sango) Sango: Hello! My name's Sango and I'm from the Feudal Era in Japan. I am 17 years old. I am a demon huntress set out against the bastard Naraku who killed my entire family. I travel with Shippou, Kagome, Inuyasha and MIROKU!!!! (turns unbelievably bright red and pummels Miroku) (goes to Miroku who's just recovering from his beating) Miroku: Hello all. I'm Miroku. First, let me say. If there are any beautiful women out there that would do me the honor of bearing my child can call me at- (Sango hits Miroku with Hiraikotsu and he passes out) (goes into Inuyasha) Inuyasha: Feh. My name is Inuyasha. Feh. Get that damned thing outta my face. (attacks camera man) Announcer: We are experiencing technical difficulties. Please stand by. (comes back in on Shippou) Shippou: Hi! My name's Shippou and I'm from down the well back in Japan! (makes really kawaii face!!) I travel with everyone and I can change my appearance, which can be pretty useful at times. (shows scenery of San Antonio) (J. Lo's 'Jenny From The Block' plays in background) (goes to Ryoko) Ryoko: My name's Ryoko and I'm a space pirate!!! I'm totally in love with Tenchi, but that hussy Ayeka keeps getting in the way of our love! (sticks tongue out at Ayeka who is REALLY REALLY red) (goes to Ayeka) Ayeka: I do not! And Tenchi certainly does not love you! Anyway, I am the princess of- Ryoko: What did you say, bitch?! Ayeka: I will not tolerate the use of such language! (Ryoko jumps Ayeka and they roll around until screen goes blank) Announcer: We are experiencing some technical difficulties, please stand by. (comes back this time to Sasami) Sasami: Hi! My name's Sasami and I'm Ayeka's little sister. I like Tenchi, but as a friend only. Plus Ayeka would FRY me. (fades in on Tenchi) Tenchi: Hey! My name's Tenchi and I've got two words for ya. LOVE SUCKS! Ever since those two came, I can't think by myself. They just won't leave me alone. I can't have one solemn minute by myself. Speaking of which. (camera widens to show Ryoko hanging on his shoulder) Ryoko, you think I could have a little breathing space? You're in my space bubble. Ryoko: Sure Tenchi. (grins like a retard) (Eminem's 'Lose Yourself' plays in background) (shows Harry Potter) Harry: 'Ello! My name's Harry Potter. I'm sure you all know me from my movies and the books. I don't know I got suckered into dong this but- Hermione: Oh shutup, Harry! My name's Hermione Granger. HER-MY-OWN-E! Get the pronunciation right! It really pissed me off that- Ron: Hermione! Stop your bloody complaining'!!! We know how to say you're name. Anyway, my name's Ron, and I'm Harry and Hermione's best friend. Least for now. There's nine other people we'll be boarding with. Who knows what could happen. Draco: Oh, quit worrying Weasly! One's relationships will be destroyed, and we'll go back to Hogwarts after your little ménage trios. (rolls eyes and laughs. Rest of group glares at him with death in their eyes) My name is Draco Malfoy. Obviously more important than these nitwits. (suddenly tackled by all three others) Ahhhh! Help me!!!!  
  
  
  
OKAY!!! Show's over! If you want me to continue, you've gotta review. If I don't have more than five, this story is going in the trash! So, if you want to see this fic continue, you know what to do!!!!! 


	2. The Time I Made Them Play Real World: Th...

Okay, I'm gonna explain this briefly to you. I put the main characters of Inuyasha, Tenchi, and Harry Potter under one roof. Although characters pull out of a hat, I still choose who gets to room with who!!! Ah, the power. Just like the regular series, they have certain projects they have to complete, and also like the regular series, there's going to be some real funny confrontations and drama! We will have a few surprise visits from each book/anime character's peeves. (this includes Kikyou, Sesshoumaru, Naraku and Kouga; Dudley and Pro. Snape; ...) Theses characters will be stuck-er living together for 5 months!!! TORTURE!! Now that this fic is explained, you can read it!  
  
Disclaimer: I am not one brilliant people who created these characters. I am simply borrowing them for my personal sick pleasure. (cackles evilly)  
  
The Time I Made Them Play Real World Drawing From A Hat and Other Comical Situations  
  
(camera zooms in on limousine with Inu-chan cast in it) (Kagome gets out followed by Inuyasha, Shippou, Sango and Miroku who is slapped for. well,,, you know!) Sango: Miroku! If I have to tell you one more time to stop touching me, I swear, I'll kill you. I don't care if we're on national T.V.!!! Miroku: You're a bit touchy. I think you might need a nap, Sango-chan. Mind if I join you? Sango: HENTAI!!!! (walks into building and punches mirror) (camera catches Kagome warning Inuyasha about his behavior) Kagome: Inuyasha, I swear if you don't behave, I'll 'o-word' you so many times that you'll forget how to use your legs. Inuyasha: Feh. Fine woman, but that doesn't go for the brat. (camera comes to train station with Harry&co. on it) Draco: Move out the way, losers! Most important person coming through. (Hermione snorts) Ron: You know, that's a bad habit, especially for females. Draco: She's not a female, so I don't see how it much matters. Hermione: Look, Draco, I'll cast a spell on your ass so fast- Harry: Whoa! Hold the phone! Hermione calm, he's not worth it. Hermione: You're right Harry. But let's hurry up to the house. I want some REAL human interaction. All three: HEY!!! (camera comes Tenchi and gang in airport) Ayeka: Ryoko! You sat next to Tenchi on the plain, so I get to sit next to him in the cab! Ryoko: Sorry, sister. But me and my MAN have some catching up to do! Don't we Tenchi? Tenchi: (sweatdrops) Uhhh. I don't know what you mean, Ryoko. Ryoko: Oh, of course you know silly! Right where we left off the plane! Tenchi: (turns VERY red) Where was that Ryoko? Ryoko: Right when we were about to- Ayeka: Ryoko! Unhand Lord Tenchi RIGHT NOW!!!! Ryoko: Geez, princess! Don't lose your cool. Ayeka: I am NOT losing my cool. It's just that you're smothering poor Tenchi! Ryoko: I'm not SMOTHERING him. He likes it, don't you Tenchi? Tenchi: Errrrrrrrrrrr.... (camera fades into house where everyone is sitting in front room)  
  
Kagome: Okay, according to Tracy, the producer, we're supposed introduce ourselves and choose out of a hat who will be rooming with who. I'll start! My name's Kagome! Sango: I'm Sango! Harry: My name's Harry. Tenchi: Hi! I'm Tenchi! Inuyasha: Goody for you golden boy. (sarcastically) Ryoko: (jumps up angrily) no one talks to my Tenchi like that! Inuyasha: Try me bitch!!!! Kagome: Inuyasha! OSUWARI!!! Inuyasha: (from floor) I'm Inuyasha. Ffeh. Ryoko: (angrily) And I'm Ryoko. Sasami: I'm Sasami!!! Shippou: I'm Shippou. Miroku: My name's Miroku. And for all the lovely ladies in this room, would you do me the honor of- Sango: HENATAI!!! (beats him over the head with Hiriakostu) Hermione: (a little shocked) m-m-m-my name's Hermione. Ron: I'm Ron (a/n: okay! I'm getting sick of typing out names! K=Kagome; S= Sango; I=Inuyasha; M=Miroku; SH= Shippou; T=Tenchi; A=Ayeka; R=Ryoko; SA=Sasami; HP= Harry; D=Draco; H=Hermione; RW=Ron) I: What that little snob over there? (points to Draco) H: Oh, that's Draco. He has some 'personal' issues and is emotionally unstable. D: Silence, mudblood! I can speak for myself. I am Draco. One day I shall rule over all creatures on this Earth I: But for now, you're a spoiled fourteen year-old brat! D: And you look no older than seventeen. (sneers) I: (picks Draco up by his shirt) Kid, you don't wanna know how old I am. (growls) D: I'm sure I don't (mumbles) I: Kid, I have special ears, and I can hear everything that goes on this house. I suggest that you watch yourself. K: Inuyasha! Put Draco down or I'll o-word you so many times you'll wish you were dead! I: Feh (drops Draco with painful thud) K: Okay, time to pick from the hat. I'll go first. (picks paper from hat) I got Tenchi! Looks like we're roomies. (scratches name off list) R: Oh, no you don't! I won't allow it. T: It's alright Ryoko. It's not we're sleeping in the bed. R: Oh, alright. K: Okay, Sango, you go next. S: (picks name from hat) Ooh great. I got that evil Draco kid. D: I'm roomin' with a hottie! S: (glares) You see that giant boomerang? I will hit your with it. Understand? D: Ha! That ancient thing couldn't possibly match wand!!! S: Shall I make a demonstration out of Mirkou who's groping me right now. (brings boomerang over his head and he is knocked out) K: Uh, okay. Next, Harry. H: I got Ron! R: Alright, Harry! Just like at Hogwarts! K: Okay, next. ummm.. Ayeka. A: And I will be sharing a room with. Shippou! S: But I want to room with Kagome! A: Oh don't worry! I won't bite! (Ryoko snorts from across the room. K: Right., okay, Hermione, your turn. H: Looks like I'm sharing a room with that perv. Why me? S: Have fun! (cackles) K: And now, it looks like Inuyasha, Ryoko and Sasami will be sharing the room with three beds. I: Ain't no way in the seven hells am I rooming with that bitch! R: Excuse me? And you think I wanna room with a hanyou? I hear they're disgusting AND they smell! (camera shoots outside of resort) Next week on 'The Time I Made Them Play Real World': *getting acquainted in the hot tub!!!  
  
Review and you'll find out! Now, this fic is going to get good! 


	3. The Time I Made Them Play Real World: In...

Hiya!!! I'm no longer posting this when I want, a new chapter 'airs' every week. So, how do you like that?! And I'm not one of those authors that forget either, so you'll have your chapter every Tuesday!!!  
  
Okay, I know the first two chapters were a little wacky, but now, I think it's time to get started.  
  
WARNING: The next chapter is a result of being high on sugar. Read at your own risk (but it's pretty damn funny!) Thank you, people-eater, for helping me coming up with this chapter! I give 99.9% of the credit of this chappy to you! The other .1% goes to me seeing as it's my fic ANYWAY!  
  
The Time I made Them Play Real World In The Hot Tub  
  
(camera shows everyone in the hot tub) Kagome: Hey, where's Miroku? Miroku: Here I am! (has towel wrapped around his waist) (drops towel) (room becomes deathly silent) (a/n: if you haven't figured out that Miroku is naked, then you're a just a TAD bit dense) Sango: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! (burst into uncontrollable fit of laughter) Kagome: (faints) Ron: BLOODY HELL!!!! Harry: It burns! It burns! (rubs scar) Tenchi: Whoa, man!!! Put that thing away!! (covers eyes) Shippou: (starts drowning) Ayeka: reaches under water, rescues Shippou and starts doing mouth-to- mouth. Looks like she's having fun) Draco: (snorts) pathetic. Inuyasha: What the f~bleep~????? Hermione: OH MY GOD!! Sasami: Oh dear. (faints also) Ryoko: (clinging to Tenchi) What's everyone staring at? (turns around) HOLY S~bleep~!!! Sango: A least now we know a LITTLE about Miroku Miroku: What? (innocently) Sango (starts laughing uncontrollably again) Harry: AHHH! IT BURNS!!! IT BURNS!!!  
  
  
  
Okay.. That was VERY funny! If you didn't get it. well, maybe if you read it enough times, it'll come to you. Well, I need reviews! They're the sole reason write these things! So you know what to do! 


	4. Seven Beds!

Hiya!!! This next chapter is also dedicated to people-eater. She suggested the thing about the beds.  
  
People-eater: Hey, Icee!  
  
Icee-chan: what're you doing here?  
  
People-eater: Alex is here, too!  
  
Icee-chan: Goody.  
  
k.i.s.s.m.: HEY!  
  
Icee-chan: You guys are kinda interrupting me.  
  
People-eater: oh well..  
  
Icee-chan: that means go away.  
  
Disclaimer: We've been over this already.  
  
The Time I Made Them Play Real World Only Seven Beds?!  
  
(camera shows phone ringing)  
  
(Inuyasha picks it up and puts to his ear): Hello?  
  
Tracy (producer of show): Inuyasha! Baby! How ya doin'?  
  
Inuyasha: Hey what the hell is this?! How do this red thinamajig know my name?  
  
Kagome: (walks by) Inuyasha, it's a phone. Just talk to it. There's someone on the other side.  
  
Tracy: Inu, baby! We gotta talk! See, there's been a SLIGHT misunderstanding with our debts.  
  
Inuyasha: Whaddaya mean 'misunderstanding'?  
  
Tracy: Well, see. We kinda fell behind on payments to the place where we bought your furniture. So they're repo-ing some of the items.  
  
Inuyasha: Repo? What the hell does THAT mean?  
  
Tracy: It means they're taking the beds.  
  
Inuyasha: WHAT THE F~bleep~ DO YOU MEAN THEY'RE TAKING THE BEDS?! I WAS JUST GETTING USED TO SLEEPING ON THOSE DAMN THINGS!!!!  
  
Tracy: Now, do get your panties in a bunch! They're only taking half of them, so you'll have to share the beds!  
  
Inuyasha: DEAR KAMI-SAMA! THERE AIN'T NO WAY IN THE SEVEN HELLS AM I SHARING A BED WITH THAT RYOKO WENCH NOR ANYONE ELSE IN THIS HOUSE!!!  
  
Tracy: Well, I gotta. um. go! Bye! Oh, tell everyone else! (hangs up hurriedly)  
  
Kagome: Inuyasha? What's wrong?  
  
Inuyasha: We have to talk. Get everyone else. (camera goes to commercial)  
  
(shows Sesshoumaru getting high)  
  
Sesshoumaru: Man, Kikyou. This is some good stuff.  
  
Kikyou: Yeah.  
  
(shows them again)  
  
Sesshoumaru: You think we should share it with Inuyasha and Kagome?  
  
Kikyou: They can rot in hell.  
  
(shows them again)  
  
Sesshoumaru: This the shit.  
  
Kikyou: Uh-huh.  
  
(shows them making out like freaks. Which they ARE)  
  
(bottom of screen:  
  
Marijuana. Harmless?  
  
(back to Real World)  
  
Tenchi: So what's this all about?  
  
Inuyasha: Well, that red phone thingy rang, and I answered and some fag named Tracy was talking to me.  
  
Sango: What did he say?  
  
Inuyasha: He said that the place they bought our beds were taking them back!  
  
Kagome: What?! Where are WE supposed to sleep?  
  
Inuyasha: HE said that they were gonna leave half of them and that we had to -gulp- share them.  
  
(room is still as graveyard)  
  
Kagome: Are you sure that's what he said?  
  
Inuyasha: Damnit, bitch! If I said he said it, then he said it!  
  
Hermione: So we have to SHARE beds?  
  
Inuyasha: Isn't that was I just said, dumbass? You're brain broken or something?!  
  
Hermione: No need to snap! I was just confirming your statement.  
  
Tenchi: So how're we gonna decide who share's with who?  
  
Kagome: I know one thing, Shippou gets a bed to himself. He's just a little kid. That would scar him for life.  
  
Inuyasha: Well, I'm not sharing with any of these wenchs in this room.  
  
Kagome : (raises eyebrow) so you wuld rather share with, oh I don't know, Miroku?  
  
Inuyasha: (face faults) NO WAY WOULD I SHARE WITH THAT HENTAI!!  
  
Miroku: You act as if I'd be hurt by this.  
  
Kagome: There's only one way to decide.  
  
Ryoko: Right! I got Tenchi!  
  
Ayeka: Oh no you don't!!! (jumps up)  
  
Ryoko: Says who?  
  
Ayeka: Says me!! I don't believe Tenchi want to be traumatized like that!  
  
Ryoko: That's it, princess! You've been ragging my nerves ever since we got here!!! I'm gonna fry your ass!!!  
  
Kagome: (holds up hands) No need to start fighting. Let's just do the hat thing. (brings out hat with names in it. Closes eyes and picks) I got. Harry.  
  
Harry: Phew! I thought for a second I was gonna have to room with Hermione. Hermione: WHAT?!  
  
Sango: I'll pick next and get it over with. (picks name) MIROKU!!!??? Is my life f~bleep~ cursed or something?! Damn!!!  
  
Miroku: Yes!  
  
Ayeka: I'll choose. (picks name) Draco. (shudder)  
  
Ryoko: Ha!!!!! Now I get to choose my dear dear. (choose paper) INUYASHA!! I gotta share a bed with dog boy?!  
  
Inuyasha: Ain't no way in the seven hells am I am sharing anything with that bitch!!!  
  
Ryoko: You can sleep on the f~bleep~in' couch for all I care!  
  
Inuyasha: Fine, that's exactly what I'll do!  
  
Kagome: Um. *.*() Tenchi, you choose next.  
  
Tenchi: Let's see. RON?! There's no way I'm roomin' with a guy, man. I'll take the couch.  
  
Inuyasha: Back off, golden boy! I got the couch!  
  
Tenchi: Hey!!! No fair!  
  
Kagome: Why don't you just have a contest to see who gets the couch and who get's the floor?  
  
Inuyasha&Tenchi: Humph!  
  
Ron: I would've shared with him.  
  
Kagome: I think that's everyone. Oh wait, it's Sasami and Hermione left.  
  
Hermione: Oh, hell no!!!!  
  
Sasami: Oh, and you think I wanna share a bed with you? PUH-LEEZE.  
  
Kagome: Well, you're gonna have to share. We already have two people battling for the couch.  
  
Sasami&Hermione: Darnit!!!  
  
Kagome: What kind of contest should we have?  
  
Inuyasha: Who can eat the most ramen!!!  
  
Kagome: That's dumb, Inuyasha. I think they should play.  
  
Ron: Why don't we make them chug soda until someone wimps out?!  
  
Hermione: Ron, that's the STUPIDEST idea I have ever heard! I like it!  
  
Inuyasha: What's 'chug' and 'soda'?  
  
Kagome: chug means to drink really fast, and soda is a drink. Kinda like water only better.  
  
Inuyasha: Feh, I could out-'chug' golden boy anyday.  
  
Tenchi: I beg to differ.  
  
Inuyasha: You're on!!!  
  
(goes to commercial)  
  
shows Inuyasha wearing leather pants with tattoo's and a pierced nose. (playing she  
  
Hates Me in the background) (a/n: I really DID do a parody called 'She Hates Me'! It's  
  
funny, you should read it!)  
  
Announcer: Buy 'Inuyasha's Greatest Hits: Vol. 1'. Featuring the hit songs, 'She Hates  
  
Me' and 'Inu Bells'. In stores Jan, 21st!  
  
(goes back to Real World) (shows house, then everyone in kitchen) (plays 'Without Me' in background)  
  
Kagome: So, here's the rules. the first person to stop chugging or barf.  
  
Sasami: Has to forfeit the couch!  
  
Hermione: Ok, ready, set, go! (waves flag. Two start chugging.)  
  
Everyone: (chanting) CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! (chugging for about five minutes until Inuyasha passes out)  
  
Shippou: Tenchi wins!!!  
  
Inuyasha: (barfs on Ryoko's feet)  
  
Ryoko: WHAT THE F~bleep~!!!??? (storms to bathroom to clean herself up)  
  
Tenchi: Looks like I got the couch!  
  
Inuyasha: SO where the hell am I supposed to sleep?  
  
Tenchi: You can sleep in a tree for all I care.  
  
Inuyasha: Kagome, can I kill his ass?!  
  
Kagome: NO!! I'll just go buy you an artificial plant.  
  
(goes off)  
  
So, whatcha think? I do believe that the only way for me to know is for you to review, so go ahead, review!! I mean it. 


	5. Rated For Sexual Innuendos Strictly

Hi, everyone! Sorry I haven't updated in a while, anything I've written so far, as a matter of fact. French teachers can rot in hell. don't ask me to explain. Ah well. they can take my phone and T.V, but they can't take my computer!  
  
Anyways, the day I got grounded, I was talking to my friend Rachael on the phone. To understand this story, you must first know this: Rachael is a fast little bitch whose mind THRIVES in the gutter. So, while I was talking on the phone, this VERY HENTAI idea popped into my head. Now, you must understand, Rachael is a big hentai herself, and we've been friends for about 2 years, so it's kind of hard to refrain from turning into her. So, I hung up with her and started writing this chapter. (Don't worry, this story ends soon)  
  
So, the next day, I took it to school and let my friends/fellow anime addicts critique it. People-eater strongly suggested that I change the rating from PG-13 to flat out R and post up a lemon warning. At least for this chappy. But I said 'It's not that bad!' It's a little freaky, I'll admit, but people, people, I HATE lemons, so why the hell would I proceed to write them?! But for now, I'm going to change the rating for this chapter to.. PG-14. Happy? Oh, and I promised everyone at school, that I would never-ever write anything like this again. but you know me.  
  
Now that I've explained this chapter in a long excruciatingly detailed page, on with the chapter.  
  
Disclaimer: Although I've stretched my Almighty Authoress Powers FAAAARRRR beyond their limits, I own nothing.  
  
The Time I Made Them Play Real World  
  
Chapter 4: Not A Lemon, But SO Perverted That I Felt the Need to Change the Rating (a/n: One more thing. Actually two. I have officially activated the BEDCAMS! Yes, one of the best features on my show, the bedcam is a camera in the bedroom, catching all the REAL action. You'll also see more of the confessional, people will start visiting, and yes.yet MORE of my crackhead commercials. Continue) BC= bedcam C= confessional  
  
BC: Miroku and Sango's room.  
  
Miroku: (stripping) I'm. too sexy for myself.too sexy for my shirt.  
  
Sango: (from under covers) Would ya' do me a favor and SHUT THE HELL UP???!!!  
  
Miroku: Oh please! I've seen you staring at my masculine.toned.sexy body! You know you want to join the party in my pants! It's quite fun.I've been quite a few times!  
  
Sango: *twitch* *heaves*  
  
C: Ron.  
  
Ron: Geez, I wish those two would pipe down! I mean, my room is right next to theirs and I can hear them *shudder*. doing the dirty. They're always shaking my headboard. I can hardly sleep at night! Gods, have some dignity! And anyway, where does that wench Sasami come off thinking that she can screw Hermione like that?! She USED to be my girl back at Hogwarts!  
  
BC: Sasami and Hermione's room.  
  
Hermione: Sasami, you're a genius with those hands of yours.  
  
Sasami: I try. Looks like all that manual labor back in Tokyo finally paid off!  
  
C: Ron  
  
Ron: I mean, you should hear those two! They're like wild animals! It's very disturbing!  
  
BC: Sasami and Hermione  
  
Sasami: I think Ron's jealous  
  
Hermione: Why wouldn't he be? I know he wishes I would go down on him like I do you!  
  
Sasami: You're rather good at that.  
  
Hermione: Thank-you! It's my specialty. I've had PLENTY of practice with Madame Hooch. She sure is a whizzin' wizard!  
  
C: Ron  
  
Ron: *heaves*  
  
COMMERCIAL: Sesshoumaru: As many of you know, I am a full-time youkai and am constantly fighting and dealing with incompetents such as Jaken. So, as you can tell, I've got NO time to be reapplying my makeup. I've tried many other brands, but none of them worked. And ladies, you know that running mascara scares away ALL the hunks! So, I've made that switch to Maybeline! It's so great because everything is compatible and long lasting. I wouldn't trust my eyelids with any other brand! Singers: Maybe he's born with it. Maybe it's Maybeline!  
  
(back to show)  
  
Draco: (sitting on balcony with Ryoko smoking an unidentified substance) Want a fag?  
  
Ryoko: Er. no thanks.  
  
Harry: (from distance) AAAAHHHHH!!!!!  
  
Draco: I'm so f~bleep~in' sick of that Potter!  
  
Ryoko: I know! I think we should cut the scar out of his damned skull.  
  
Draco: Yes then I would claim Voldemorte's wand.  
  
Ryoko: They can do that now?!  
  
Draco: Of course they can. All they have to do is sell it.  
  
Ryoko: If I had known that, I would've bought one for myself YEARS ago.  
  
(a/n: for all you nice, wholesome, non-hentais, she's referring to a wand you find on a male's body, but Draco's talking about the magic stick thingy)  
  
(Tenchi and Inuyasha at bar)  
  
Inuyasha: Where are we?  
  
Tenchi: It's called a bar, Inuyasha! You order alcohol and go home wasted.  
  
Inuyasha: Sounds fun. Back in the Sengoku Jidai, all we had was that stupid sake. It tasted like crap.  
  
Tenchi: Here, they've got a lot of choices. (to bartender) Five shots to start us off.  
  
(three hours later)  
  
Inuyasha: I din' no is suff wath' sto stong.  
  
Tenchi: Yeah, it's great isn't it? (completely drunk, but totally used to it, so he's not really effected by the liquor, whereas Inuyasha, well. I let you judge that yourself.)  
  
Inuyasha: I wan' more.  
  
Tenchi: I don't think so. Kagome'll have my head for this as it is.  
  
Inuyasha: One more gayon? Pweeaassee?? (hiccup; is out cold)  
  
(in hot tub)  
  
Shippou: This is fun! (with Ayeka in rubber floaties)  
  
Ayeka: Oh Shippou, you manly child! I would fly to Uranus for you! (#3 reason to kill me: I exploited poor eight-year-old Shippou)  
  
Shippou: Yah.  
  
Ayeka: I worship you, my lord. I shall give you whatever you want!  
  
Shippou: Hmmm. I want some chocolate!  
  
(Miroku and Draco at video store)  
  
Miroku: Kagome said to get some movies. What are those?  
  
Draco: Long moving pictures.  
  
Miroku: Oh. There's so many, what should we get?  
  
Draco: I know! (walks over to porno section) Let's get 'Sex on the Moon'! (I MADE UP THESE TITLES, SO DON'T GET ANY IDEAS!) I've seen it about five times. Snape gave me a list of about 50 good porno movies.  
  
(back at house)  
  
Kagome: I think I should've gone with them. I don't trust those two.  
  
Sango: Yep.  
  
(Draco and Miroku)  
  
Clerk: Do you need help getting those to your car? (points to 20 movies)  
  
Draco: This oughta be fun.  
  
(back at house)  
  
Tenchi: Hey! We're back.  
  
Kagome: What is that SMELL?!?!  
  
Inuyasha: 'Ey 'gome!  
  
Kagome: Inuyasha, are you drunk?  
  
Inuyasha: An' -igh.  
  
Tenchi: You weren't supposed to say that. (sweatdrops)  
  
Kagome: Tenchi.  
  
(Draco and Miroku come in)  
  
Kagome: That's a LOT of movies. What EXACTLY did you get?  
  
Draco: 'Sex on the Moon'; 'The Amazons'; 'College Girls Gone Wild: Vols. 1- 8'-  
  
Miroku: 'Playboy: Night of a 100 Babes'; 'Hot Trans'-; 'Passion Beach'-  
  
Kagome: *twitch*  
  
Harry: Did I hear 'Passion Beach'? T-t-that's my FAVORITE! (# 1 reason to kill me: I turned Harry Potter into Hairy Porno)  
  
Draco: A man with taste!  
  
Hermione: Me and Sasami have dibs on 'Night of a 100 Babes'!  
  
Kagome: You people are DISGUSTING!  
  
Shippou: Hi! Whatcha doin?  
  
Draco: About to watch movies!  
  
Shippou: Yippee! I wanna watch one!  
  
Kagome: Shippou, those are not-  
  
Shippou: I'm going with Harry! Bye Kagome!  
  
Sango: What an interesting choice of entertainment.  
  
Kagome: Sango, I think we'd better go have a TALK with these bleep bleep bleep.  
  
COMMERCIAL  
  
Luscious Malfoy: (in shower making disturbing noises) (a/n: ya know, Draco's dad who got hair I would KILL for?)  
  
Mysterious Men in Black T-shirts: He's got the urge! Herbal botanicals! He's got the urge for Herbal! Luscious: OOHH! (flips hair and giggles) MMiBTs: He's got the urge!  
  
(back to show)  
  
C: Kagome  
  
Kagome: I cannot BELIVE that they got over twenty movies like that! Me and Sango are the only sane ones left!  
  
BC: Ron's room  
  
Hermione: I'm glad we're in Ron's room. It's so much bigger.  
  
Ron: Thank-you!  
  
Sasami: Not you, the bed.  
  
Hermione: But you're good too, Ron!  
  
  
  
Sorry I wrote this, but it's funny. But I PROMISE PROMISE PROMISE that I will never intentionally write something like this again. In fact, my friends made me write up a contract stating that I would never write something like that again. I had to sign it, they took pictures. A little much, right? Anyway, I'm going to stop delaying the inevitable; I'm ready for my flames. I will use them to make my ramen tonight. Well, review, flames or no. 


	6. Brownies Yummy

The Time I Mage Them Play Real World  
  
In Da Club (flashing lights) (retro dance music plays)  
  
Sango: This is where you go every night?  
  
Tenchi: And bring home all those beautiful women?  
  
Miroku: Yep. (Sango storms off)  
  
Ayeka: Can I get you some fruit punch, Shippou-chan?  
  
Shippou: Okey-dokey!  
  
Kagome: C'mon Inuyasha, let's dance!  
  
Inuyasha: There's no way in the seven hells am I going to move like I've got a stick up my ass.  
  
Kagome: C'mon Inuyasha! It's called fun. You should try it.  
  
Inuyasha: No.  
  
Kagome: Pleeeeaaaasssseeee?  
  
Inuyasha: You really want me to dance? Get on your knees and beg, bitch!  
  
(goes to Harry, Hermione and Ron)  
  
Ron: Cheer up, Hermione!  
  
Harry: Y-y-yeah! Experience the music!  
  
Ron: She wasn't so hot, anyway.  
  
Hermione: Yes, she was! sniff  
  
Ron: Getting dumped is a part of life.  
  
Harry: Yeah! J-j-just b-b-b-bounce back. twitch  
  
Hermione: But we were so good together!  
  
(at bar)  
  
Tenchi: Hit me again.  
  
Bartender: Don't you think you've had enough?  
  
Tenchi: Yeah, but maybe I'll be so drunk I won't remember what happened tonight.  
  
Bartender: Why do you say that?  
  
(Ryoko runs up)  
  
Ryoko: Tenchi! We've got things to do.  
  
Tenchi: That's why. (is dragged off)  
  
(Draco talking to shifty character in a corner)  
  
Draco: Man, you've got a good stash.  
  
Shifty Man: Thanks, that means a lot coming from a professional drug appraiser.  
  
Draco: No prob, man. Look I want you to deliver these to some friends of mine.  
  
(commercial) (back at bar) (Inuyasha downing his tenth shot)  
  
Bartender: Don't you think you'd better stop?  
  
Inuyasha: Give me more, damnit!!!!  
  
Bartender: Okay, okay!  
  
(shifty walks over to Tenchi)  
  
Shifty Man: Psst. Hey kid. Want something that'll make you feel good?  
  
Tenchi: I don't know.  
  
Shifty Man: It'll make you hhhaaaaaaaapppppppyyyy...  
  
Tenchi: Okay!  
  
Shifty: Try these brownies! They're a real winner.  
  
Tenchi: Thanks. (takes bite) (10 minutes later)  
  
Tenchi: Mmmmm. this good shit! I bet Inuyasha would like some (walks over to Inuyasha) Hey! Inu-chan!  
  
Inuyasha: (downs 50th beer) *burp* What the hell do you want?  
  
Tenchi: Wanna brownie?  
  
Inuyasha: Get that shit away from me, man.  
  
Tenchi: But it's a spe-shel bwowny! It's fwom the magic world of Goody Goody Gumdrops! It'll make you haaaaaaappppyyyyy.  
  
Inuyasha: Pathetic.  
  
(booth where everyone is sitting)  
  
Ayeka: Look! Someone left us some brownies!  
  
Shippou: Chocolate! (licks lips)  
  
Harry: B-b-b-brownies! (everyone except Inuyasha and Draco take one)  
  
Tenchi: Don't you want a brownie, Inuyasha? (shoves it directly under his nose)  
  
Inuyasha: Get that shit away from me.  
  
Kagome: Oh c'mon, Inuyasha! It's just a brownie.  
  
Inuyasha: It does smell really good. (scarfs it down) x 20 minutes later x  
  
Shippou: Yo yo Inuyasha!  
  
Inuyasha: 'Sup, D?  
  
Shippou: 'Nuttin, ju' chillin'.  
  
Kagome: N-yasha, you still owe me dat dance.  
  
Inuyasha: Les' go, baby! (Hermione French kissing Miroku)  
  
Hermione: (giggle) Oops! You're not Harry! (giggle)  
  
Sango: IWANNADANCE!!! YOUWANNADANCE?! CANSOMEONEDANCE?! PWEEZEPWEEZEPWEEEEZZZZEEEE???!!!! (obviously VERY hyper)  
  
Ron: Gods woman. I'll dance with you (oddly unaffected) X 10 minutes later x  
  
Kagome: Oh, N-yasha! You're a dancin' machine!  
  
Inuyasha: Shippou taught me! Shippou: I'm a foxy beast, baby! (Ron comes back with Sango who is snoring)  
  
Ron: She feel asleep.  
  
(next morning) BC: Kagome's Room  
  
Kagome: (yawn) Geez, I had a LONG night last night. (notices lump next to her) Hm, wonder what that is.  
  
Inuyasha: (sleep talking) No mommy, I don't wanna go to school.  
  
Kagome: INUYASHA!!!!???!!!  
  
Inuyasha: KAGOME???!!!???!!!! (after he wakes up) (heard in space: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!)  
  
Well, there I go with those sexual innuendos again. please review! 


	7. Special PostValentines Day Chapter

Hiya! Happy Valentine Day! Quote of the day 'Valentines Day bites. Totally in the ass.' - BLIC  
  
I'm A Hustler Baby.! *Special Valentines Day Edition*  
  
Draco: Hey, Kagome! Wanna brownie?  
  
Kagome: Get the fbleep away from me.  
  
Inuyasha: I'll take some!  
  
Draco: Fo' sho' brotha'!  
  
Kagome: Inuyasha! You step away from those brownies right now! You remember what happened last time?  
  
Inuyasha: HOT DAMN!!  
  
Harry: What's cracka' lackin'?!  
  
Kagome: Are okay?  
  
Harry: Never felt better!  
  
Kagome: But what about your aneurysms?  
  
Harry: Ever since I've eaten Draco's 'miracle brownies', I've been cured and excessively perky!  
  
Draco: Right on, brotha'!  
  
Kagome: UGH!  
  
(Tenchi @ Ryoko Café)  
  
Ryoko: So, Tenchi. I've noticed that you're acting a little different lately.  
  
Tenchi: (fruity) Different? No way, girlfriend!  
  
Ryoko: You sure about that?  
  
(Tenchi pats but of guy walking by a giggles. Gets stares)  
  
Tenchi: Don't know what you're talking about, girlfriend! (whispers) Oh, he's a hunk!  
  
Ryoko: Um, Tenchi, you're gay.  
  
Tenchi: oh yeah, that. (winks at waiter)  
  
Ryoko: WHAT?!  
  
Tenchi: Well, I've realized that the male gender is so much easier to screw! The T.V. channel is always on ESPN, and the toilet seats always up!  
  
Ryoko: *barf*  
  
(back at house)  
  
Ron: Valentines Day bites.  
  
Sasami: Totally in the ass.  
  
Ron: Oh well, wanna make out?  
  
Sasami: I'm a lez, but okay! *LATER*  
  
Sango: Okay everyone! We get a name out of the hat and buy a gift for them. (picks: Harry)  
  
Kagome: (Tenchi)  
  
Ryoko: (Shippou)  
  
Sasami: (Miroku)  
  
Inuyasha: I'm not buying SHIT for anyone!  
  
Kagome: SIT!  
  
Inuyasha: Damn Wench, feh. Fine. (Kagome) fbleep!  
  
Hermione: (Inuyasha)  
  
Shippou: (Ryoko)  
  
Draco: (Sango)  
  
Harry: (Ayeka)  
  
Ayeka: (Ron)  
  
Ron: (Draco)  
  
Tenchi: (Hermione) (commercial)  
  
(Hermione @ pet shop)  
  
Hermione: Inuyasha IS half dog. Maybe I'll get him a leash or something.  
  
Clerk: Hello ma'am! Need some help?  
  
Hermione: Yes! I'm trying to buy something for my dog.  
  
Clerk: Well, we have muzzles, collars, doggy bowls, leashes, sweaters.  
  
(Sasami@ department store) Sasami: Hm. Guys like leather, right?  
  
(Draco in kitchen) Draco: (singing) I'm a hustler baby.! I jus' want choo to know! It ain't where I'm been, but where I'm 'bout to go! *ding* Mmmm, these brownies smell delicious!  
  
(Inuyasha @ corer liquor store) Inuyasha: Mmmm, beer and vodka!  
  
(Kagome @ department store) Kagome: Gay guys like yellow, right?  
  
(four days later) Kagome: okay! Time to exchange gifts, I'll go first. I had Tenchi. Happy Valentines Day! (hands present)  
  
Tenchi: (opens) A yellow feather scarf? LUV IT HUN! Okay, so I'll like, go next! I like had, Hermione!  
  
Hermione: Zit crème?! (attacks as Tenchi runs screaming through house)  
  
Sango: Okaaaaay, so I'll go next. (hands excessively large gift)  
  
Harry: I got a SPONGEBOB! The excessively perky, excessively annoying and excessively gay cartoon character! Okay, here you go, Ayeka!  
  
Ayeka: Gee, chocolate. How classic thanks. Here Ron. (gives Ron small box)  
  
Ron: What is it?  
  
Ayeka: Anti-depressants.  
  
Ron: Er. thanks?  
  
Draco: I had Sango! Here you go, my sista'! Keep hope alive! (holds fist in 'black power' symbol)  
  
Sango: Yah. Thanks for the brownies, Draco. Really.  
  
Shippou: I'll take those!  
  
Hermione: Happy Valentines Day, Inuyasha! (hands him a muzzle. Kagome laughs her ass off)  
  
Sasami: I had Miroku. Here.  
  
Miroku: Whatever could it be? HOT PINK LEATHER PANTS!? I've ALWAYS wanted some! (shakes hips and sings in deep voice) I like to dance in my hot pink leather pants!  
  
THIS CHAPTER HAS JUST BEEN INTERUPPTED BY BLIC WHO IS STOPPING IT BECAUSE OF THE VERY LAME AND CLICHÉ LIKE GIFTS. SHE REALIZES THAT THIS CHAPTER COULD'VE BEEN MUCH BETTER, BUT SHE WROTE IT IN 15 MINUTES, SO WHAT CAN SHE SAY? SHE IS SORRY THAT YOU WASTED YOUR TIME READING THIS LAME CHAPTER, BUT THE NEXT ONES WILL BE FUNNIER; INCLUDING: Ahhh! It's PMS!; Over the River and Through the Woods to a Gay Bar; and Ramen, Beer and Midol. 


	8. Ramen, Midol and Bud Inuyasha Goes to th...

BLIC: Hiya!! I LUV this!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, and if I did, I'd be making money off them.  
  
The Time I Made Them Play Real World Ramen, Midol and Budweiser  
  
(comes in on Ryoko looking in the refrigerator)  
  
Ryoko: Where's the food, damnit?!  
  
Kagome: What's wrong, Ryoko?  
  
Ryoko: We don't have ANY food! Where's the bitch that ate all the food!!?? I'm f~bleep~in' hungry!!!  
  
Kagome: Calm down, Ryoko! Why don't we just ask everyone? (everyone sitting down)  
  
Ryoko: Okay, where's the bitch that ate all the food?!  
  
Inuyasha: I did! You gotta a problem with that, wench?  
  
Ryoko: Let me at him!! Let me at the f~bleep~er!!! I'll kill his ass! (Miroku holds her back and gropes her ass) You perverted FREAK!!!! (Miroku is unconscious for several minutes)  
  
Kagome: We'll just go grocery shopping. It's that simple. Okay, who wants to go?  
  
Tenchi: Don't look at me! I don't do the shopping thing! (notices Ryoko looking at him) I mean no way, girlfriend! My nails are dry yet!  
  
Hermione: Well, we can't go, we have to stay with Harry. Until Draco makes some more brownies, Harry's gone back to normal  
  
Harry: IT BURNS!! AHH!!!! HELP MEEEEEE!!!!!  
  
Ron: Yeah, we're the only ones who'll put up with his aneurysms.  
  
Harry: (twitches violently) AHHHH!!!!! IT'S VOLDEMORTE!!! IT'S VOLDEMORTE!!!  
  
Sango: I don't know what 'shopping' or 'groceries' are.  
  
Ayeka: Me and Sasami are going to play tennis.  
  
Kagome: (looks at Miroku who is dancing with his shirt off) I don't trust you Miroku. There's too many women around. You might be tempted.  
  
Miroku: Women? Lead me to them!  
  
Sango: Heel boy.  
  
Kagome: Well, what about you, Draco?  
  
Hermione: Would you really trust HIM to go out in public?  
  
Draco: I shall rule the world!!!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Kagome: Right. looks like it's just you Inuyasha.  
  
Inuyasha: Feh.  
  
Kagome: Inuyasha, be serious for once! Can I trust you with $75 to buy some food?  
  
Inuyasha: Whatever, woman. Food is food. I KNOW food.  
  
Kagome: Okay, then, all you have to do is walk two blocks down to the big building. Get a cart, and get some food. Then you use the money and give it to the cashier, then come STRAIGHT back here!  
  
Inuyasha: Feh.  
  
Shippou: Can I go?  
  
Kagome: Sure, Shippou-chan!  
  
Inuyasha: Hey!!! Bitch, I'm the one going! He cannot come with me!  
  
Kagome: INUYASHA! OSUWARI!!! OSUWARI!!!  
  
Inuyasha: What the f~bleep~ was that for?  
  
Kagome: Just take Shippou with you!!! (goes to commercial)  
  
(goes back to show, Inuyasha standing in store. Shippou transformed into a little boy)  
  
Inuyasha: This place is HUGE! Where in the hell am I supposed to find ramen?! Hey, you! (calls to clerk)  
  
Clerk: Yes?  
  
Inuyasha: Where's the ramen?  
  
Clerk: Oh, well, it's right down there.  
  
Inuyasha: There's so many different kinds! We'll take them all!  
  
Shippou: I think Kagome wanted us to get other stuff, too, Inuyasha.  
  
Inuyasha: If she wanted us to get other stuff, she would've said so! Besides, ramen is food! Now, to take care of that Harry kid and his damn aneurysms.  
  
Clerk: Can I help you with something?  
  
Inuyasha: Yeah, I need some medicine for this dumb kid.  
  
Clerk: Well, what are his or her symptoms?  
  
Inuyasha: See, he's got this scar on his forehead that keeps burning him and he keeps having aneurysms. He ate some kinda brownies that made him better but they kinda wore off.  
  
Clerk: Sounds to me like PMS. I suggest Midol. In fact, you'd better get him Extra Strength, sounds to me like he could really use some relief.  
  
Inuyasha: Yeah, whatever. (grabs about 30 boxes) Now, you think we should get something to drink?  
  
Shippou: Doh! I think so.  
  
Inuyasha: Shut the f~beep~ up!!!!!! (walks until they come to the liquor aisle)  
  
Shippou: There's so many different kinds, which should we get?  
  
Inuyasha: Hmm, let's get some Budweiser, Burboun, whiskey, Bacardi, and Tequilas sounds good?  
  
(Shippou walks off, then returns with a six pack of Budweiser)  
  
Inuyasha: Feh. We're gonna need more than that, you dumbass!!! (Shippou goes and gets four more)  
  
Inuyasha: That's more like it. Let's go. (fills cart with everything else) (walks out of door. Detector goes off and he punches it. No one cares) (back at the house)  
  
Inuyasha: I'm back. (dumps shopping cart in the middle of the floor and walks to sit down)  
  
Kagome: Inuyasha, all you got was liquor, ramen and Midol.  
  
Harry: Just what I- (starts twitching violently)- n-n-need!!! (takes Midol into bathroom.  
  
Tenchi: Whoa, man that's not even cool. Hey! Budweiser!! My favorite! Yo, Kagome, pass that over here! (notice that he's not gay right now)  
  
Kagome: (tosses bottle over to Tenchi and rolls eyes) (commercial)  
  
Miroku: (dancing) I like to dance in my hot pink leather pants. (mumbles)  
  
Draco: (SINGING) I'm a hustler Baby! 


	9. AHHH! It's PMS!

Hiya, my devoted fans out there in ffland!  
  
The Time I Made Them Real World AHH! It's PMS!!!  
  
Kagome: Stay away from me! (slams door)  
  
Ron: Bloody hell! What's eating her?  
  
C: Tenchi  
  
Tenchi: Okay, I just wanna clear the board. I AM NOT GAY. I'm just pretending so Ryoko will get off my back. She's stopped trying to drag me every fbleepin' where.  
  
BC: Miroku  
  
Miroku: (dancing in mirror) I like to dance in my hot pink leather pants. I like to dance in my hot pink leather pants. I like to dance in my hot pink leather pants.  
  
Sango: WOULDJA'SHUTTHEFbleepUPABOUTYOURSTUPIDHOTPINKLEATHERPANTS?! (been eating Draco's brownies)  
  
Miroku: But I like to dance-  
  
Sango: GETSOMEWHEREWITHTHATSTUPISHIT! (storms out of room)  
  
C: Harry Harry: I think there's something wrong with all the girls cause they're all acting really mean. Sasami attacked me with a fork this morning and Kagome's been cussing everyone out and having tantrums every 3 minutes. I'm so scared.  
  
Kagome: Okay. WHO ATE ALL THE Fbleepin' PEANUT BUTTER?! WHO DID IT?!  
  
Inuyasha: I did! You gotta problem with that or something you moody bitch?!  
  
Kagome: Damn skippy I gotta problem with it! How the hell am I supposed to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich if I ain't got no damn peanut butter!  
  
Inuyasha: It's JUST peanut butter! Damn wench.  
  
Kagome: Inuyasha! I'm gonna stab yo' black ass!!!  
  
Inuyasha: Feh.  
  
Kagome: You think I'm playin'? (Inuyasha suddenly afraid runs in terror) Get yo' ass back here! (runs after him w/butter knife)  
  
Draco: Damn. Why she got her panties all in a twist?  
  
Ayeka: What did you say?  
  
Draco: Um, somethin' 'bout panties? (scared)  
  
Ayeka: Oh, so now you think that's it's okay to talk about ladies' underwear? I mean, he ate the damn peanut butter for god's sake! How inconsiderate can you get?  
  
BATHROOM:  
  
Sasami: YOU LEFT A PIECE OF TISSUE ON THE FLOOR!  
  
Miroku: But it's just-  
  
Sasami: PICK IT UP! NOW!!!  
  
Miroku: But-  
  
Sasami: Do you need me to talk you through it?! It's tissue, you pick it up!  
  
Miroku: Yes ma'am.  
  
C: Shippou  
  
Shippou: I'm so scared. All the girls are acting mean and crazy. I think they might go on a killing spree next week! AHH!! THE HORROR!  
  
(Inuyasha screaming is heard)  
  
Kagome: Die! Bitch die!!!!  
  
Inuyasha: Kagome p-p-p-please, spare me.  
  
Kagome: You ate the peanut butter! Why should I?  
  
Inuyasha: Because I'm too young to die!!!  
  
Kagome: Dude. You're like, 60 sumthin' years old. Besides, now I'll never have my sandwich! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Sandwich buddy! (drops knife and starts crying)  
  
Draco: Whoa, man that was messed up shit.  
  
Ayeka: What did you say?  
  
Draco: Sumthin' 'bout messed up shit.  
  
Ayeka: So, what?! Now you think you can just talk about shit like it's got no feelings?  
  
Draco: But it has NO feelings.  
  
Ayeka: Are you saying I'm wrong?  
  
Draco: (backs into corner) No ma'am.  
  
(commercial) (Kagome enters with Inuyasha on a leash)  
  
Kagome: Hey, Inuyasha! I bet you're hungry, aren't ya' boy?!  
  
(Inuyasha, not on all fours says: Feh.)  
  
Kagome: Inuyasha no baka! Dogs don't talk! You're supposed to say woof woof!  
  
Inuyasha: You can kiss my furry ass!  
  
Kagome: C'mon! This isn't funny! Get on your knees and bark or I'll s-word you!  
  
Inuyasha: Feh, fine. Stupid wench. (gets on hands and knees and barks)  
  
Kagome: Too bad I don't have anything to feed you!  
  
Inuyasha: (Makes big puppy eyes)  
  
Shippou: Have no fear! Ramen Treats are here!  
  
Kagome: Ramen Treats? What're those?  
  
Shippou: They're the best doggie treat in the whole wide world! They come in Shrimp flavor, Oriental flavor, Beef flavor, and Chicken flavor! Just like the regular ramen!  
  
Kagome: That's great! Now Inuyasha will eat his food! (takes treats in hand and throws them in the air) Catch, boy!  
  
Inuyasha: Feh, there's no way in the world am I jumping for that doggy shit.  
  
Kagome: Inuyasha! That's not your line! You're supposed to bark happily and jump and catch the treats in your mouth! Do it right!  
  
Inuyasha: Kiss my furry ass.  
  
Kagome: (kicks Inuyasha with much force) Say your lines!  
  
Inuyasha: Feh.  
  
Kagome: Geez, Inuyasha! Now you have a yummy treat to eat. Go fetch! (throws in the air and Inuyasha jumps up and catches in his mouth.  
  
Announcer: If grumpy hanyous love it, so will your dog!! Ramen Treats! A dog's NEW best friend!  
  
(bts)  
  
C: Shippou (still)  
  
Shippou: I've locked myself in the confessional. I've been in here about three hours.  
  
(Inuyasha's voice sounds through the door)  
  
Inuyasha: Shippou! Open the fbleepin' door! Kagome's gonna tear me to shreds! AHHH! SHIPPOU!!!!  
  
Shippou: Oh the horror! THE HORROR!!!  
  
(violently screams and cackles heard)  
  
(Ryoko chasing Tenchi down)  
  
Ryoko: Get back here you little fbleeper'!  
  
Tenchi: What did I do? (runs a little faster)  
  
Ryoko: YOU CHANGED THE CHANNEL, THAT'S WHAT YOU LITTLE FbleepER!!!! I WAS WATHCING "LIFETIME'!  
  
Tenchi: But I wanted to watch sports center! (bumps into Inuyasha who has several bruises on his face) Darn*, what happened to you?  
  
Kagome: I AIN'T THROUGH WITH YOU YET!!!! (screams like banshee)  
  
(Sasami and Miroku in common bathroom)  
  
Sasami: Pick up the tissue! (bathroom tee-p'd (stupid spelling))  
  
Miroku: But you just threw all that over the place.  
  
Sasami: I don't give three fbleeps! Pick up the damn toilet paper!  
  
Miroku: But it'll take me all day! I've got a date with Cookie.  
  
Sasami: Really? (Miroku nods) WELL I DON'T GIVE A Fbleep!!! Clean it up!!!!  
  
Miroku: You can't make me do anything,  
  
Sasami: (picks up plunger) Try me. (Miroku runs out screaming)  
  
(Sango, Harry and Ron watching 'Barney') (don't ask why)  
  
('I Love You' just went off)  
  
Sango: I have a different version, wanna hear?  
  
Harry&Ron: Sure!  
  
Sango: I hate you! You hate me! I chased yo' ass up a tree! Took my boomerang and sliced off your head! Oh no! Look now Harry's dead. (my friend read song this in a fic that's not owned by me. I believe it was in 'Pixie Dust is Dangerous'. Just so you know)  
  
Harry: Ummm.  
  
Sango: Let's act it out, shall we? (advances towards Harry with boomerang in hand)  
  
Harry: Ahh! Bloody MURDER!!! Sango's possessed! (Ron laughing his ass off)  
  
Sango: You think that's funny? 'Cause I'll come over there and get ya'!  
  
Ron: NNNOOOOO!!!!  
  
C: Shippou.still  
  
(rustle and bang is heard from door)  
  
Shippou: Who's there?!?!?!?!?!?!? (Draco comes out of the vent) How did you get in here?  
  
Draco: I been tunneling through the ventilation since this mornin'. Them girls is crazy!!!  
  
Shippou: What's wrong with them?  
  
Draco: It's a brotha's worst nightmare. It's. (dun dun duuun!).PMS..  
  
(screams of pain are heard as well as mean female voices chanting: DIE!!! DIE!!! DIE!!!)  
  
Inuyasha: Shippou! Let us in, please!!!  
  
Shippou: But what if they get in?  
  
Inuyasha: I'll make sure they don't.  
  
Shippou: Okay. (opens door and Harry, Tenchi, Ron Miroku and Inuyasha run in)  
  
Kagome: Come back here you scaredy cats! (her arm reaches in and starts to choke Inuyasha)  
  
Inuyasha: CLOSE. (gag).THE.(choke).DOOR!!! (everyone pushes door close)  
  
(outside)  
  
Kagome: Will get in there you little fbleepers'!!!  
  
Ryoko: And when we do.  
  
Hermione: We're gonna fbleep yo' asses up!! (I realize that she just came into the story, but I lost track of my characters)  
  
*3 hours later*  
  
Kagome: C'mon girls! Let's bust this door down! (girls starting pushing door) Heave! Ho! Heave Ho! (door finally come down. Guys huddled in corner) AAATTTTAAACCCKKK!!!!  
  
(run into the room. Screen goes black)  
  
Announcer: We are experiencing technical difficulties. Please stand by. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepppp.  
  
somewhere in the future  
  
Tenchi: That wasn't so bad.  
  
Inuyasha: Yeah, and it only took us seven years to heal.  
Okay, okay I realize that last part was a little corny. Sorry. But, I'm thinking about making an entire show about the filming of the commercial 'Ramen Treats'. Suggestions, please. 


	10. Over The River

Hey everyone! I'm back! Sorry I haven't updated for two weeks, but my account's been locked for two weeks. darn FanFiction. Anywho, I've written like, three chapters, and to make up for lost time, I'm posting them all tonight! YAY! Also, three more things: I haven't included Disclaimers for a while, but just for the record, we all know I don't own crap. Second, I'm starting a campaign I like to call: The MTVJ (MTV Japan) VJ Campaign! Yes I, BLIC, will now be known as BLIC the MTV VJ! What does this mean for you? It means that I'll complete all the clichés! In other words, I'll take all the stupid reality shows: Meet My Folks, The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, Joe Millionaire, Blind Date, (I could go on forever) etc. etc. and will be posting them on my so-called MTVJ!!!! So, non-stop stupidity. And if I ever feel the need to write something serious (God strictly forbid it) I'll smack myself and load up on Draco's brownies and turn back to 'normal'. Finally, I have a few thank you's:  
  
Bunny: You are truly a friend, definitely since you introduced me to the wonderful world of anime!  
  
BuyoGal: Because even though you're a female Miroku, like to read things such as 'My Brother, My Lover' (be WARNED!!!!) and other obscenities, but you did come up with 'Cribs', so for that you get credit.  
  
NNG: I'm afraid if I DON'T give you credit, you'll hurt me. So erm. there you go.  
  
Meggie-chan/people eater- (which one are you now?) Arigatou and a MILLION times over! She's come up with 1/3 of this retarded story! I love you for being so weird (not like that) I swear I would have killed someone, if not for you. Now I have cruel and unfair ways to torture Inuyasha, Tenchi and Harry!  
  
But, finally, I'd like to thank all the readers who have put up with my madness! You have NO IDEA how crazy I am, and believe me, I am, so to sit through this story faithfully, is really cool. Because sometimes I wanna just act normal. But it's not happening because I draw inspiration from my reviews!  
  
Well, enough of this mushy crap, on with the story!!!  
  
The Time I Made Them Play Real World: Over The River and Through The Woods, To A Gay Bar We Go!!  
  
C: Tenchi  
  
Tenchi: Tonight, I'm going to a bar to meet the ladies!  
  
(in the kitchen)  
  
Ryoko: I'm worried about Tenchi, I think he's suffering.  
  
Sango: Tenchi's fine without you.  
  
Ryoko: What did you say bitch?!  
  
Sango: Damn, no need to get all defensive and upset. I'm just sayin' Tenchi seems happy.  
  
Ryoko: But I like the OLD Tenchi better.  
  
(Miroku walks in with wasted hoe)  
  
Miroku: Hey! This is Cookie!  
  
Cookie: I like hot pink leather pants! See? We're even matching!!!  
  
Sango: What is SHE doing here?  
  
Cookie: I'm gonna get paid to get laid!  
  
Miroku: But I get SO much more!  
  
Sango: *martyred *twitching  
  
Ryoko: *snorts* Have fun,  
  
(Tenchi walks in)  
  
Tenchi: Lookin' good girlfriends! Well I'm off!  
  
Ryoko: Where are you going?  
  
Tenchi: To a gay bar! All the hunks go there! (leaves)  
  
Ryoko: Let's follow him.  
  
Sango: Why should I?  
  
Ryoko: Would you rather stay here with them? (background: (two voices) I like to dance in my hot pink leather pants!)  
  
Sango: Don't leave me!!!! (follows) (Inuyasha gagged and tied to chair)  
  
Inuyasha: Mghpmgh! (Let me the fbleep go!)  
  
Kagome: You're gonna sit here and shadup!  
  
Inuyasha: Gmicht! (Bitch!) Umrgmph mhe mfngiht MONW! (Untie me right NOW you stupid bitch) a/n: oh yeah, he DID get sat. so er. *BUMP*  
  
Kagome: I'm putting you on an alcohol deprivation program!  
  
Inuyasha: MPHMH!? (WHAT!?)  
  
Kagome: You'll go an entrie 48 hours without beer, vodka, gin, bourbon, whiskey, shots, tequilas, Rice tea or sake!!  
  
Inuyasha: MMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!! (NOOOOOOO!!!!)  
  
(Kagome cackles evilly)  
  
(Draco, Harry and Ron) *ding*  
  
Draco: Fresh out the oven, brotha'! (takes brownies out of the oven)  
  
Harry: G-g-g-great! I need something t-t-to keep these d-d-d-damn spasms-s- s-s-s under con-t-t-trol. (eats)  
  
*10 minutes later*  
  
Harry: Those things to do wonder's, Draco! What's your secret?  
  
Draco: Sorry, dawg. It's my lil' secret, you know!  
  
(Tenchi outside nightclub)  
  
SM (constant abbreviation for some hoe): I'm glad you could come, Tenchi! I was beginning to miss you!  
  
(Ryoko and Sango spying from bushes)  
  
Ryoko: That little fbleeper'!! I can't believe he lied to me! (jumps up!  
  
Sango: Oh well, let's go party!  
  
Ryoko: Hold it, Barbie! There's hell to pay!  
  
(Tenchi sees them)  
  
Tenchi: Uh-oh. (rather loudly) No way girlfriend! I'm gay ! Hey! This is NOT the right line!  
  
SH: Um.  
  
Tenchi: Nice chattin' with ya' honey! (at park: Ayeka and Shippou)  
  
Shippou: Ayeka, you're REALLY nice!  
  
Ayeka: Oh Shippou! I would fly to the Uranus for you!  
  
Shippou: Hmmm. then can I have some ice-cream?  
  
Ayeka: Sure!  
  
A/n: Okay, now I'm going to switch the regular ice-cream truck with a 'Vice City' ice-cream truck. *HINT HINT*)  
  
Ayeka: Hi! Two strawberry cones, please!  
  
ShiftyIce-CreamGuy: How many grams? (looks around for guns)  
  
Ayeka: Grams?  
  
SI-CG: Look woman, I ain't got all day. I have to pick up another shipment.  
  
Ayeka: Well, then hurry up and get my damn ice-cream!!!  
  
SI-CG: Ice-cream? (Ayeka nods) Oh! Ice-cream! (does little quote thingy with his fingers) Okay, I'll get your (fingers) ice (fingers) cream. (comes back with two strawberry cones.  
  
Ayeka: Thanks, (tastes ice-cream) This tastes funny. It reminds me of Draco's brownies (you know what that means.) It's still pretty good!  
  
(commercial) (comes back to Inuyasha sitting in dark)  
  
Inuyasha: Mghpohmghgfg! (Let me go!)  
  
Kagome: (wearing suggestive black leather.outfit with a whip) You're not going anywhere. until you're able to resist THIS!!! (whips out bottle of Bacardi)  
  
Inuyasha: Mhgomgph! Pmghgpgm! (My preciousss! Give me my precioussssss!)  
  
Kagome: Hee hee hee! Ha ha ha! Ho ho ho!  
  
(goes to Tenchi sitting at bar, getting drunk) (Sango and Ryoko walk in)  
  
Sango: There's some really cute guys in here!  
  
Ryoko: Too bad they're all gay.  
  
Sango: Maybe we can change that. (Miroku-ish side glances to people beside her)  
  
(Ron, Sasami and Hermione playing poker) a/n: Anyone see where this is going? (Hermione whooping their asses)  
  
Hermione: I won- AGAIN!!!  
  
Ron: I quit!  
  
Sasami: Don't quit! I was just getting warmed up!  
  
Hermione: After 15 games? Oh puh-leeze!  
  
Sasami: You shutup! Back in Tokyo, I used to kick Ayeka's ass!  
  
Hermione: Oh really? (sly grin) Well then, let's say you bet something on that hot hand of yours. Like, I don't know, say money.  
  
Sasami: Forget that! I'm goin' for the clothes!  
  
Ron: You mean like strip poker?  
  
Sasami: Exactly.  
  
Hermione: You're on, bitch!  
  
Ron: I think I'll stay, and. you know, supervise. (sits on couch)  
  
*hours pass* (Sasami stripped down to. nothing) (Hermione missing her socks)  
  
Hermione: Well well well, little miss Sasami. Who got their but* kicked this time?  
  
Sasami: Oh, shut the fbleep up, stupid bitch. Just because you won fifty times, means nothing. C'mon Ron! We've got.things to do. (Ron starts to follow)  
  
Hermione: Wait a second! Where are you going with MY man?!  
  
Sasami: Really, must I spell it out?  
  
Ron: Yeah, besides, she's already naked.  
  
(Sango and Ryoko walk in with two guys)  
  
Ryoko: Everyone! We'd like you to meet Raul and Chico!  
  
Miroku: Who're they?  
  
Sango: They're our lovers!  
YAY!! Yet another bout of retartedness is showing. Okay, well, I'm not going to school tomorrow, so I'll probably post up another chapter tomorrow. 


	11. Cho Chang Visits

Been ages since I put up a disclaimer: Wish I did own 'Real World' and Inuyasha. Ho- I Mean Cho Chang Visits!  
  
C: Harry  
  
Harry: Cho Chang is coming for three days! We're gonna make a LUV connection!  
  
(small dark room) (Inuyasha STILL tied to chair, Kagome wearing. suggestive. black leather w/whip.. T__T)  
  
Kagome: Repeat after me: Alcohol is bad.  
  
Inuyasha: Alcohol is bad..  
  
Kagome: Soberness is good.  
  
Inuyasha: Soberness is good.  
  
Kagome: Kikyou's a bitch.  
  
Inuyasha: Kikyou's a- wha?!  
  
(Ron, Hermione & Sasami watching T.V.)  
  
Ron: I'm hungry. *burp*  
  
Hermione&Sasami: (unison) I'll get you something!  
  
Sasami: Back down, hussy! Let a REAL woman cook!  
  
Hermione: REAL woman? With THOSE?! (points to.er.you figure it out)  
  
Ron: Erm.  
  
Sasami: You're just jealous of our relationship, you dime store floozy!  
  
Hermione: Relationship?! I'm the one who's been giving him raspberry lotion for the past four years! (you won't get this joke unless you go to 'Harry Potter' and look up '50 Word Ficlets'. They're all VERY funny)  
  
Sasami: (mutters) Yeah, well banana smells better. Bus down bitch!  
  
Hermione: What?! You blowjob slut!  
  
Sasami: Only with Ron.  
  
Ron: Uhh. (runs out and closes door)  
  
Hermione: (yells like banshee and attacks her) (BC: Miroku & Sango)  
  
Miroku: I like to dance in my hot pink leather pants. I like to dance in my hot pink leather pants.  
  
Sango: Shut the fbleep up! I'm gonna burn your hot pink leather pants!  
  
(Harry, Draco & Tenchi @ airport) (Harry holding up sign that says: Cho Chang)  
  
Tenchi: So, what does this Cho Chang look like?  
  
Harry: @__@ Beautiful.  
  
Draco: Shorty got jugs, man!  
  
Harry: There she is!  
  
(girl with long black hair walks up)  
  
Cho: Hi, Harry! Hi, Draco! Who's that? (winks at Tenchi)  
  
Tenchi: I'm Tenchi. You must be Cho!  
  
Draco: I figad' you'd be hungry, so I made you some brownies!  
  
Cho: I didn't know you could cook, Draco!  
  
Tenchi: I don't think that's such a good-  
  
Cho: It's just a brownie, Tenchi. Relax. *30 minutes later*  
  
Cho: Damn, Dra'go. I a'nt know you coul' coog lige tha'!  
  
Draco: Snape's tha' boss!  
  
Cho: (in Tenchi's lap) You're stwong!  
  
Harry: What's going on back there?  
  
Tenchi: Erm. nothing!  
  
(dark room) (Inuyasha sweating profusely) Kagome: It's been 48hrs. Do you feel you've been redeemed?  
  
Inuyasha: @_@ Yes, Mistress Kagome.  
  
Kagome: What is alcohol?  
  
Inuyasha: @_@ An instrument of the devil, Mistress Kagome.  
  
Kagome: Can I release you?  
  
Inuyasha: Yes, Mistress Kagome. (Sasami and Ron playing pool)  
  
Sasami: So, Ron. You wanna go out tonight? You know, like to the movies?  
  
Ron: Sure! That'd be fun!  
  
(Hermione runs up)  
  
Hermione: I know a great movie that's playing right now!  
  
Sasami: Uh, we're going on a date.  
  
Hermione: I know, but I think it would be nice for us to ALL bond. Ron doesn't seem to have problem with it.  
  
Sasami: Ron?!  
  
Ron: I don't see why not.  
  
Sasami: UGH!!  
  
(Draco, Cho, Tenchi and Harry come back)  
  
Harry: So uh, Cho, would you like a snack?  
  
Cho: Nawl, I ate some a Draky-Pie's bwownies!  
  
Harry: Yeah, but I think I should make something to drown out your high. Tenchi, could you watch her and make sure she doesn't throw herself ou the window or something?  
  
Tenchi: Sure. (sit down) So Cho, tell me about yourself.  
  
Cho: Well, I'm this many years old. (holds up ten fingers, then four) I'm kinda smawt, and I'm in luv!  
  
Tenchi: With Harry?!  
  
Cho: No, siwy! With you, big daddy! (kisses him)  
  
Tenchi: Hot damn!!! (Ryoko walks in and sees them)  
  
Ryoko: And just who is THIS slut?!  
  
Cho: Excuse me?  
  
Harry: Uh, this is Cho. You know, the one that'll be visiting us for three days.  
  
Ryoko: I know she better get her little fast ass off my Tenchi!  
  
Harry: You'll have to excuse her; she kinda ate some of Draco's brownies. We've got the remedy right here! (holds up celery stick) a/n: fresh outta ideas. (Cho eats)  
  
Cho: Geez, I feel strange. Oh, hello! I'm Cho!  
  
Ryoko: Get off Tenchi!  
  
Cho: Ooops! Sorry! (winks at Tenchi, who blushes) (Inuyasha and Kagome walk in) (Inuyasha has dark circles under his eyes and his skin is incredibly pale)  
  
Harry: Damn Inuyasha! What the hell happened to you?  
  
Inuyasha: May not one speak, Mistress Kagome? (Kagome nods) I have been cleansed. I have sweated all the alcohol out of my system, and become pure.  
  
Tenchi: Man! You were drinking buddy!  
  
Inuyasha: Liquor is bad. It is an instrument of the devil! Be pure fiend!!!  
  
Kagome: I can put you on the program too.  
  
Tenchi: Nawl I'm straight. (commercial)  
  
(Inu-tachi sitting in Kaede's hut) Shippou: I'm bored!  
  
Miroku: We haven't heard rumors of shards for weeks!  
  
Shippou: I'm hungry! Kagome, do you have any food?  
  
Inuyasha: Stop whining, you stupid brat.  
  
Kagome: Shutup Inuyasha! As a matter of fact. (pulls out Kit-Kat bar) (winks and everyone nods) (tosses bar to Shippou and jumps up) GIVE ME A BREAK! (starts doing the cabbage patch)  
  
Everyone: (jumps up and joins her) GIVE ME A BREAK!! (Kouga, Kaede, Kikyou, Sesshoumaru Naraku, Kagura, Kanna, Rin, Hojo and Jaken jump out of nowhere and form conga line) GIVE ME A BREAK! (girls are tossed into the air like Russian acrobats) (it starts to rain Kit-Kat bars) (everyone goes gaga over this) (everyone disappears again) (Kagome sits down)  
  
Shippou: I'm bored.  
  
Inuyasha: Quit your damn whining, stupid brat.  
  
Shippou: Kaaagoomeee!  
  
Kagome: SIT! (back to show) (Hermione, Sasami and Ron)  
  
Hermione: This is a great movie! Popcorn, Ron?  
  
Ron: Thanks, Hermione.  
  
(Sasami glares at Hermione)  
  
Hermione: Something wrong, Sasami?  
  
Sasami: I'm fine. Can I have some popcorn? BC: Miroku&Sango  
  
(Sango curled up in little ball rocking on heels)  
  
Miroku: I like to dance in my hot pink leather pants. I like to dance in my hot pink leather pants.  
  
Sango: Five weeks. it's been five weeks since he got his hot pink leather pants. five weeks. (Kagome walks in)  
  
Kagome: Sango, are you alright?  
  
Sango: Five weeks.  
  
Kagome: I have a plan that'll fix Miroku for sure.  
  
(Inuyasha slumped on couch)  
  
Draco: Inu-dawg, you straight, son?  
  
Inuyasha: For shizzle my nizzle.  
  
Draco: I think you need a pick me up. Want some beer?  
  
Inuyasha: AAAHHH!!! Not that! Get it away! Away, I tell you!  
  
Draco: Damn, don't get your panties in a twist, man. It's all good.  
  
(Shippou and Ayeka walk in)  
  
Shippou: What happened to Inuyasha?  
  
Draco: Kagome did somethin' to him.  
  
Shippou: Hellooo? Anyone there? (waves hand in front of his face) Okay, then. Where is everyone?  
  
Draco: Well, Ron, Hermione and Sasami went to the movies; Sango, Kagome and Miroku are somewhere in the house and Harry, Tenchi and Cho went dancin'. Once again, I'm left to slave over a hot oven. I'm making brownies. They just don't seem to stay on the shelf! (Harry getting drunk, Tenchi and Cho grinding- the DANCE, you pervs!)  
  
Cho: Tenchi, you sure know how to dance!  
  
Tenchi: You're not too bad yourself! Hey, where's Harry?  
  
Cho: Filling up on martini's.  
  
Tenchi: Poor guy.  
  
Cho: You know, for a second there, I thought I liked Harry, but I think I'm more attracted to you, Tenchi!  
  
Tenchi: EEP! What about Harry?  
  
Cho: Oh, he'll bounce back. (start to makeout) (Harry sees)  
  
Harry: Tenchi! You traitor! (runs off crying like a wittle woos)  
  
(Hermione, Ron and Sasami playing poker)  
  
Hermione: I win-again!  
  
Ron: I quit! You've won twelve times, Hermione. I give up!  
  
Sasami: Don't go yet, Tenchi! I'm just getting warmed up!  
  
Hermione: *snort* After twelve games?  
  
Sasami: Oh shutup!  
  
Hermione: Well, since you feel so confident, why don't we make this game a little more interesting?  
  
Sasami: What are you talking about? Do you mean betting money?  
  
Hermione: I was thinking more along the lines of strip poker.  
  
Ron: On second, thought, I think I'll spectate!  
  
Hermione: So, whaddaya say? Or are you chicken?  
  
Sasami: Chicken?! HA!! You're on, but prepared to get stripped. *45 minutes later* (Sasami wearing nothing but socks, Hermione nothing but a shoe)  
  
Hermione: Well, Sasami, looks like you're all outta clothes! I win!  
  
Sasami: I was just having an off game.  
  
Hermione: You'd think you'd get back into your groove after forty games.  
  
Sasami: Hey, Ron, wanna go somewhere?  
  
Ron: Sure.  
  
Hermione: Hello?! I'm the one who won the game!  
  
Sasami: As if anyone cares.  
  
Ron: Besides, Sasami's already*.  
  
Hermione: AUUGGGGHHHH! Damn you, Sasami!  
  
(Inuyasha staring at television blankly, Kagome sitting beside him)  
  
Kagome: So, Inuyasha, isn't life better now that you're sober?  
  
Inuyasha: @__@ Yes, Mistress Kagome..  
  
Kagome: You know you can stop calling me that.  
  
Inuyasha: Yes, Mistress Kagome..  
  
Kagome: Uh, okay. well, you wanna go out?  
  
Inuyasha: Nah, I think I'll take a nap.  
  
Kagome: But you just woke up from one!  
  
Inuyasha: So?  
  
(Harry crying in a corner)  
  
Tenchi: Harry! Man, where are you?  
  
Harry: BOOHHHOOOO! WAAAHHH!  
  
Tenchi: OH, there you are, I'm- dude, are you CRYING?!  
  
Harry: Y-y-yes!  
  
Tenchi: Darn*, she's just a girl.  
  
Harry: She wasn't just any girl, she was the love of my LIFE! WAAAHHHH!!!  
  
Tenchi: Look, Harry. I can't help if she chose me over you! (Harry starts crying harder) LOOK!!! HARRY! There's always other fish in the sea.  
  
Harry: But non of them are as pretty as- Ch-ch-cho!!  
  
Tenchi: Harry, stop dwelling on the past. You'll find someone else, I'm sure of it.  
  
Harry: Really?  
  
Tenchi: Of course! There's always someone better than the one you got! So, have you had your eye on anyone lately?  
  
Harry: Well, Madame Hooch has started to look kinda good.  
  
Tenchi: *shudder* Someone a little younger, please?  
  
Harry: Er. Sasami, I guess?  
  
Tenchi: Nah, her and Hermione are betting on Ron.  
  
Harry: How did I miss that? (commercial) (Miroku groping plastic Sango doll)  
  
Announcer: Fun for some. Illinois Lottery, fun for all!  
  
(back to show) C: Ryoko  
  
Ryoko: Cho and Tenchi have been an awful lot of time together. I don't exactly trust that bitch. I'm starting to doubt his sexuality.  
  
(Sango and Kagome crouched over small fire) (Miroku walks up behind them)  
  
Miroku: Hey what are you guys doing? And why does it smell like burning rubber?  
  
Kagome: Not, rubber, lea- (Sango puts her hand over her mouth)  
  
Sango: Oh, nothing, Houshi-sama! We're just making a SPECIAL surprise for you. (realizes something) HOUSHI-SAMA!!! Why don't you have any pants on?!  
  
Miroku: I can't find my hot pink leather pants. Have you seen them?  
  
Sango: (puts on 'innocent' face) Nope! We sure haven't. (Hermione and Draco sitting in kitchen)  
  
Draco: I tell you! (wipes forehead) Baking is difficult!  
  
Hermione: Yeah, sure,  
  
Draco: Something wrong, my sista'?  
  
Hermione: Oh nothings wrong. But someone is!  
  
Draco: Lemme guess, Sasami.  
  
Hermione: Yeah. She's totally stealing Ron from under my nose! What am I gonna do, Draco?  
  
Draco: Well, if she's gonna play dirty, I say we do, too.  
  
Hermione: How do we do that? (her and Draco start planning) (Ayeka and Shippou on balcony)  
  
Ayeka: I feel a little funnnny.  
  
Shippou: Yeah, me too. Think it was the ice-cream?  
  
Ayeka: I don't- *barf* a/n: off the balcony. On people's heads! YUCH YUCH YUCH!! (Kagome walks up to Inuyasha)  
  
Kagome: Inuyasha! Stop moping around!  
  
Inuyasha: I'm not moping.  
  
Draco: Yeah, Kagome! Let a brotha' have some time to himself! He just chillin' like a villan.  
  
Kagome: He's been 'chillin' all day. I'm ready to do something!  
  
Inuyasha: But I don't want to go!  
  
Kagome: Fine! I'll go get someone who WILL take me! BC: Sango and Miroku  
  
(red box sitting on bed) (Miroku opens it; sees burned pink leather) Miroku: AAAH!!!!! MY PANTS! MY PANTS! MY PRECIOUSSS!! NOOOO!!! (Sango walks in)  
  
Sango: HA! (starts doing victory dance) I burned them! I burned the mother fbleep er's!!! Freedom!!!! (Harry, Tenchi and Cho come back @ 3:30 in the a.m.)  
  
Harry: Geez that was fun!  
  
Cho: Yeah, but I'm a little tired. Let's go to bed, Tenchi.  
  
Ryoko: HOLD IT! (flips on lights) Tenchi's not going to bed with anyone, an if he is, it's with ME!  
  
Tenchi: Ryoko! I've been lying to you. I'm not gay.  
  
Ryoko: I KNEW IT!! I KNEW IT!!!  
  
Tenchi: I'm sorry I had to lie to you, but I don't want to be with you. I wanna be with. Cho.  
  
Ryoko: So it's all because of THAT little bitch!  
  
Cho: Excuse me, but-  
  
Ryoko: There'll be hell to pay! Believe me! HELL!!! (two days later)  
  
Tenchi: I'll miss you Cho.  
  
Cho: I'll miss you more.  
  
Tenchi: Nuh-uh!  
  
Cho: Yuh-uh!  
  
Ryoko: Oh please! Just leave!  
  
Tenchi: I'll call you everyday. I might be able to visit you! Washu-chan's working on this portal thingy.  
  
Cho: That's great, Tenchi!  
  
Ryoko: Okay, well, bye HUN! Sayonara! (phone room)  
  
Kagome: So, you wanna take me dancing? (pause) I don't care if you're in fbleeping Timbuktu! Find a way to get your ass here! (pause) Fine, see you in two weeks!  
AHHH! The suspense! Who is Kagome going to go on a date with her? Will it bring Inuyasha out of his slump? Tune in, whenever I'm smart again, for the next chapter of ' The Time I Made Them Play Real World'! 


	12. Hocus Pocus

Hello allz! I'm sorry I haven't updated in a bit. I hate when authors do that, and here I am doing it myself. I'M TURNING INTO A HYPOCRITE!!!!  
  
Anywayz, I've been really busy this week, I've hardly had time to get on the computer! Except for that stupid poetry project my retard teacher gave us the week of ISAT testing. It's not excuse for me turning into a hypocrite. I sorry! It won't happen again!  
  
Disclaimer: Look, we ALL know that all I own is misery. Happy now?  
  
The Time I Made Them Play Real World: Hocus Pocus and Retarded Little Headed Japan-Man  
  
(Inuyasha still slumped on couch)  
  
Kagome: Inuyasha! If you don't get you lazy but off the couch, I'll go kill myself!!!  
  
Inuyasha: See you in the afterlife.  
  
Kagome: INUYASHA! Fine, I never thought I'd have to do this, but I called some people here to pull you out of your slump. C'mon out guys! (Naraku, Sesshoumaru and Kikyou come out) Okay, one of you start talking, now! I can't stand one more day of this.  
  
Kikyou: I'll go first. (walks up to Inuyasha) Inuyashaaaaaa. What's wrong?  
  
Inuyasha: Oh, hi Kikyou. Nothing's wrong with me. How's it going?  
  
Kikyou: Did Kagome do something to you? (tries to smile, but kills a couple of birds perched in the windowsill)  
  
Inuyasha: Oh, nothing's wrong! She just put me on her alcohol deprivation program. It's done miracles.  
  
Kikyou: I see. She's a stupid bitch. Why not come with me to the depths of hell? (voice lowers to scary demonic voice)  
  
Kagome: Excuse me! He's mine!!! (puts her hand in between them just as she's gonna kiss him)  
  
Kikyou: Back off, bitch. You've already seen what affect you've had on him.  
  
Kagome: Back up off my man!!! (attacks Kikyou and they start rolling around on the floor)  
  
Sesshoumaru: Well then. Let's see if I can pull him out of this reverie. (holds out hand) Give me the Tessaiga, NOW!  
  
Inuyasha: Sure, it's in the broom closet right over there. (points to closet near door)  
  
Sesshoumaru: Really? I can have it? (gets all happy-go-lucky) I mean, aren't you gonna say something really smart then yell out an empty and useless threat against my life?  
  
Inuyasha: We're brothers, man. I'd never dream of it.  
  
Sesshoumaru: Well then, since you're so partial to the idea.  
  
Kagome: (pinned to the floor with Kikyou's hands on her neck) OH NO YOU DON'T!!!  
  
Sesshoumaru: Never mind, there's no honor in taking the sword from a broom closet, anyway. I'd rather fight and kill Inuyasha for the sword. I'm out. (zooms out on Ah-Un)  
  
Naraku: Well, of course those two buffoons didn't succeed to get a rise out of you Inuyasha, but I will. For I am Naraku!!! (walks up to Inuyasha) Hey, you stupid piece of hanyou scum.  
  
Inuyasha: 'Sup?  
  
Naraku: Huh? How's about handing over the jewel shards and letting me take over the earth and kill you?! (laughs maniacally) BWAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Inuyasha: Yeah, about that. I think we should just bury the hatchet. Whadda ya' say? But if you really want them, I suppose you can have 'em. I wasn't going to do anything with them but turn into a full demon anyway. No long- term goals or anything, like you.  
  
Naraku: How about you throw in Kagome and we'll call it even?  
  
Inuyasha: Done. Hey Kagome! (Kagome beating Kikyou in the head with a spoon) I sold you and the shards to Naraku. Get packing.  
  
Kagome: WHAT?!?!?! Get OUT Naraku and Kikyou! OUT OUT OUT!!! (they both leave) What were you thinking?  
  
Inuyasha: I don't think I was thinking at all.  
  
Kagome: That's it! I'll make sure you're out of it by the end of this weekend!!!  
  
(Draco and Hermione crouched around corner, spying on Ron and Sasami)  
  
Hermione: That awful wench! I'll show her yet! Are you sure this is a great idea?  
  
Draco: 'Mione, would I ever ever do you wrong? (gets blank stare from Hermione) Don't answer that. Anyway, all you gotta do is do wit' da' wand, and Ron is all yours!  
  
Hermione: Do you happen to get anything out of this?  
  
Draco: A job well done, and if I play my cards right, a new shawty! You know I love 'dem hoes  
  
Hermione: Well, that she is. And you can have once I'm done with her. Not that she'll be very appealing in the end.  
  
Draco: OH, now's your chance! But go easy on her, at least the first time.  
  
Hermione: Oh believe me, I'll make she gets what she has coming for her.  
  
(Sango and Miroku in hot tub)  
  
Sango: Sorry I had to burn your pants, but you were driving me INSANE!  
  
Miroku: I'm actually very thankful. It was just the divine intervention the Lord ordered. I'm very happy to be back to myself.  
  
Sango: I missed the old you!  
  
Miroku: So did I, Sango. So did I!  
  
Sango: (face turns pink) Houshi-sama, why is you're hand on my bleep bleep bleep?  
  
Miroku: That's what it's called? I didn't know that. (Sango pounces him and screen goes black)  
  
C: Kagome  
  
Kagome: I'm so sick of Inuyasha's slacky behavior, but that's okay 'cause I'll fix him up real quick! I called the one person to make him start acting out in a second!  
  
(Hermione poised to cast spell)  
  
Draco: Steady, steady. NOW!  
  
(beam of red light bursts from wand and hits Sasami)  
  
Ron: Sasami! Are you alright? (gasps) What the fbleep?!?!  
  
Sasami: Oh my god! WHAT HAPPENED?! (Hermione and Draco run off LTAO's)  
  
(Kagome and Inuyasha @ airport)  
  
Inuyasha: Why are we here?  
  
Kagome: Because, I'm meeting someone. Now stand up straight!  
  
Inuyasha: But why did I have to come?  
  
Kagome: BECAUSE I TOLD YOU TO GODAMNIT!!!  
  
Inuyasha: No need to yell. So, who are we waiting for?  
  
Kagome: It's a surprise. And would you stop being so damn nice?! It's unnerving.  
  
Inuyasha: Kagome, you should lighten up. You're so high-strung. Try yoga, works like a charm everytime.  
  
Kagome: Shutup, Inuyasha! There he is. (yells) Hojo! Over here! (little headed Japan-Man walks over)  
  
Hojo: Hey, Kagome! (hugs)  
  
Kagome: Inuyasha, you remember Hojo?  
  
Inuyasha: Meany-senses-tingling. MUST FIGHT. GRRR.  
  
Hojo: Er, hi! Nice ears! *tweak* *tweak*  
  
Inuyasha: *eyeball twitch* Th-th-thanks.  
  
(Miroku and Draco in kitchen)  
  
Draco: It's good to have you back, brotha'. I was seriously starting to worry.  
  
Miroku: Thanks Draco. Say, I'm pretty hungry, whipped up any brownies lately?  
  
Draco: Well, I made some, only I put in a wrong ingredient, and they may taste a lil' funny. But if you want some, you can have 'em.  
  
Miroku: Thanks man!  
  
(Tenchi hiding under the covers)  
  
Ryoko: Oh Teeenchiiiii! Where aaare yooouuuu? I've got something for yoouuu! I bought you a bird!!!! *3 hrs later* It's a very pretty bird!  
  
Tenchi: Oh shit! I gotta go! Well, maybe I can make a mad dash before she gets her claws on me! (silent for two minutes) She's Gone! Finally. (comes out, but Ryoko is standing guard at the door. Holy shit!!  
  
Ryoko: I told you I had a present for you! It's a bird. And here it is!!! (flips him the bird. You know, the 'F'-finger)  
  
Tenchi: Ouch!!  
  
C: Sango Sango: On the bright side, Miroku is no longer driving me insane with his pants. On the dark side, he's driving me insane with his EXTREME PERVERTEDNESS!!!  
  
(Hermione, Ron and Sasa- I'll let you judge that for yourself)  
  
Ron: Sasami!!! You're a man! A big, ugly man.  
  
(Hermione LHAO)  
  
Sasami: (deep bass voice) OH MY GOD!! Hermione! How could you do this?!  
  
Hermione: I- ha ha- had to because- hee ha- you were- haa!- getting-hee- in- ha- the- ha- way! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!  
  
Sasami: I HATE YOU, HERMIONE GRANGER!!! Let's GO Ron.  
  
Ron: Sorry, dude. I don't date cross-dressers. Plus, if Hermione put the spell I think she put on you, then you're also a transvestite.  
  
(the he-she runs off to blubber somewhere)  
  
Hermione: So, are we on?  
  
Ron: Yeah!  
  
(Draco suddenly appears out of nowhere)  
  
Draco: Pimp-Daddy Weasly! Movin' from one girl to the next! Dude, you my new roll dawg!!  
  
(Harry, Shippou and Ayeka eating @ café)  
  
Harry: I think that I should start bonding with everyone in the house, and that's why I've brought you all to lunch.  
  
Ayeka: O-kay. 0___0  
  
Harry: So, how's everyone doing lately?  
  
Shippou: Good.  
  
Harry: Are you sure? You seem a little disconnected. You do know that it's instinct to say that you're fine, when you could feel like you're dying inside. Express your true feelings.  
  
Shippou: Well, Kagome has been pretty much ignoring me since we came on this show, but Ayeka's starting to fill in that gap. But it's not the same.  
  
Harry: I totally understand! Even though you've found a good friend in Ayeka, Kagome will never be replaced in your heart. Deep down, you know that.  
  
Ayeka: Who drugged you up?!  
  
Harry: Come again?  
  
Ayeka: You're actin' all weird. What HAVE you been doing the past few days?  
  
Harry: I've been watching the most insightful show on television. Dr. Phil. That man's a magician! He's changed my life! I've been spiritually cleansed!  
  
(Kagome practically climbing on Hojo while Inuyasha watches)  
  
Kagome: So, Inuyasha, do you feel any different?  
  
Inuyasha: Well, I do have to take a dookey.  
  
Kagome: O__o  
  
Hojo: O__o  
  
Inuyasha: Where's the little boys room? (walks off)  
  
(Harry and Miroku)  
  
Harry: Yes, Miroku. That's exactly the problem! You're afraid to express your feelings, so you put up a wall of ecchi-ness around you to block all those you care about out. And while this system might work for a while, you should make a door for other walk through this wall. If you do not, you will die a lonely.  
  
Miroku: Wow Harry! What insight! Where did you acquire such knowledge?  
  
Harry: Dr. Phil and Dear Annie know what their talkin' about.  
  
(Kagome, Hojo and Inuyasha sitting in club)  
  
Kagome: Let's dance, Inuyasha!  
  
Inuyasha: Okey-dokey.  
  
Kagome: So, what do you think?  
  
Inuyasha: Of what?  
  
Kagome: Of Hojo! He's been chasing me for practically FOREVER!  
  
Inuyasha: Oh, I think he's a lovely boy! He's nice, well-mannered and polite! I think you should go for it!  
  
(Kagome storms off dance floor)  
  
(Draco and he-she Sasami)  
  
Draco: I'll change you back, but you have to promise me one thing.  
  
Sasami: And what's that?  
  
Draco: To be my hoe.  
  
Sasami: Okay! ANYTHING to get back to my normal self!  
  
(Draco points wand and it goes 'POOF'! Sasami is back to normal)  
  
Draco: Now, you have to hold up your part of the deal.  
  
Sasami: Okay! (start snogging like their retards 'cause they are)  
  
(Sango walks by)  
  
Sango: Okay, that's just downright disturbing.  
Stupid ending, but I have other things to do. I may have a chapter for you by the middle of next week, depends on what my schedule is gonna look like. I'm smart in all my classes again except Algebra. Bummer. And the quarter ends next week. I've got some ass-kissing to do. Sayonara for now!!! 


	13. Don't Get Mad, Get Down! in otherwords, ...

Since I'm overflowing with generosity-ness and my conscious is overflowing with guilt-ness, so here's another chappy for ya'!!!  
  
Disclaimer: Have to do these every now and again, so I won't get my ass sued. So, there you go. I'm owner-less.  
  
The Time I Made Them Play Real World: Don't Get Mad, Get Down!! (Boogie, that is)  
  
Hojo: So, how did you meet Inuyasha again?  
  
Kagome: Long story.  
  
Hojo: Can I hear it?  
  
Kagome: No.  
  
Hojo: So, what's new and exciting in your life?  
  
Kagome: Nothing much.  
  
Hojo: Kagome, you seem a little distracted.  
  
Kagome: Hojo, could ya' shut it?! I'm trying to think!!! You all up in my space bubble! Get out!  
  
Hojo: Sorry! I thought you wanted me here to see me?  
  
Kagome: PFFT! Please! I'm just using you as my jealousy slave.  
  
Hojo: WHAT?! So I wasted $450 on a fbleepin' plane ticket for you to ignore me?!  
  
Kagome: Looks that way. Sorry, but you lucked out.  
  
Hojo: I am SO going home!  
  
C: Sango  
  
Sango: Now, Miroku is acting weird. But in a good way. He's been really sweet and kept his perverted hands to himself. But not like that.  
  
(Harry, Hermione and Ron sitting in living room)  
  
Harry: I realize that you two are an item right now, so I think it'd be wise if I gave you a little counseling.  
  
Hermione: Errm, Harry, we're just dating, not married.  
  
Harry: Especially with an attitude like that. You're relationship will end up in the gutter if you keep that up. Just spend an hour with me, and you'll walk away with a better outlook on your relationship.  
  
*One hour and a half later*  
  
Hermione: Wow, Harry. you manage to amaze me every time. I had no idea.  
  
Ron: Man, your amazing! You could like, make money off this!  
  
Harry: I'm not in it for the money; I want nothing more than for the world to love itself.  
  
(Kagome chasing Hojo to the airport)  
  
Kagome: Hojo! Wait!  
  
Hojo: I'm not gonna sit around and take this! I'm going HOME!!!  
  
Kagome: Oh great!!! Now how am I supposed you make Inuyasha jealous!?!  
  
Inuyasha: Where's Hojo going?  
  
Kagome: Back to Japan.  
  
Inuyasha: Too bad, I was thinking we could have some male bonding time. He seemed like a nice guy.  
  
Kagome: Just shutup, Inu!!!!!! Gotta come up with a plan. gotta come up with a plan.  
  
(Shippou and Ayeka at playground)  
  
Ayeka: What did you want to talk about, Shippou?  
  
Shippou: I actually been thinking about what Harry said.  
  
Ayeka: And?  
  
Shippou: And I think he's right. You're an awesome friend and all, but I miss Kagome. She's like a mother to me. I haven't talked to her in a while. I'm ready for things to go back to the way they were.  
  
Ayeka: Are you.. Are you breaking up with me?  
  
Shippou: I'll always love you like a sister, kinda like Sango, but I don't think this is gonna work out.  
  
Ayeka: Shippou, how COULD you?! (runs off blubbering)  
  
(Kagome in phone room)  
  
Kagome: So, you think you can come?.. AW! That's incredibly sweet. this evening!!!! That'll be great..okay, see ya soon!  
  
C: Inuyasha  
  
Inuyasha: I realize that I've never been in this room, except for that one time. (thinks back to when they were getting attacked by the PMS crazed girls) Anyway, I come here for complete solitude. But since this IS the confessional, I'll do some confessing: Kagome is acting very weird. She seems to be trying to get me to act a certain way, but I keep telling her that I shall never regress back to my old ways. I'm like a flower in the field. Let the wind flow through my beautiful hair, baby!  
  
(Draco and Harry in kitchen)  
  
Harry: So Draco, I feel like your soul is crying for help. Your cries have been heard, my friend. Tell Harry what's wrong.  
  
Draco: Oh Harry! I knew that you would be able to see right through my façade!!! My soul HAS been crying out!!! Like a seagull lost at sea! I feel so lonely! Even though I have my own personal hoe, I'm so traumatized. You know how some people eat their way through problems? (Harry nods) Well, I bake. I bake my lil' heart out! 'Till I can bake no more.  
  
Harry: It's okay, Draco, It's okay. I truly understand. Let it all out. (Draco starts crying uncontrollably)  
  
(Kagome and Inuyasha @ airport. again)  
  
Inuyasha: NOW, why are we here?  
  
Kagome: We're meeting another friend.  
  
Inuyasha: Wait. that scent. it can't be.  
  
Kagome: Kouga-chan!!! Welcome to my HOME!  
  
Inuyasha: Inu-senses-tingling O_o  
  
Kouga: What's dog-turd doing here?  
  
Inuyasha: Eh? Oh, Whatsup Kouga my man? Give me some dap. (holds out fist)  
  
Kouga: Why are you being nice to me?  
  
Inuyasha: Because, everyone deserves to be treated nicely.  
  
Kouga: Don't you wanna hate me and try to kick my ass, then send me back to Japan?  
  
Inuyasha: Why ever would I do such a thing? You know, that's the problem with the world today. Everyone's going around wasting valuable energy hating one another. I say make love, not war, man. (puts his arm around Kouga)  
  
(Tenchi tied to chair and gagged, Ryoko in black pinstripe suit in completely white room)  
  
Ryoko: So, thought you could lie to me and get away with it, did you not? Well, mister, you've got another thing comin'.  
  
Tenchi: MMMMMMMM!!!!! (AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!) (starts thrashing about wildly)  
  
Ryoko: There's no use trying to escape now, Tenchi. You're mine.  
  
(Sasami watching T.V.)  
  
Sasami: Anyone seen Tenchi? (distant scream is heard) Wonder what that was.  
  
(Ayeka comes in)  
  
Sasami: Damn, Ayeka! You look fbleeped up!  
  
Ayeka: That's how I feel.  
  
Sasami: What's wrong?  
  
Ayeka: Shippou broke it off. He said that I would never be able to place Kagome! She's his mother first, and I'm his sister second.  
  
Sasami: Oh, poor you! Don't worry, you'll bounce back! Go chat with Harry and he'll make it ALL better. I was moping around about Ron a few hours ago, and now look at me. Perky as ever!  
  
Ayeka: If it'll help. (gets up and walks to Harry's room)his door has doctor is IN sign tacked to it) (knocks)  
  
Harry: Come in, comrade! (Ayeka walks in) Ahh! Ayeka! I knew you would come! I could feel your unhappiness vibes from a mile away. Please, sit on my couch, have a drink, tell Harry what's on your mind.  
  
Ayeka: I'm so lonely! Tenchi's off somewhere with Ryoko, Shippou is gone reflecting about Kagome, and I'm left all by myself, with only my own pity. I'm miserable! DO SOMETHING!!!  
  
Harry: I can't Do something, that is your job. I can, however, help you. I want you to start coming to see me every other day at 4:00.  
  
Ayeka: *sniff* okay *sniff*  
  
Harry: I'll send you away with a bit of wisdom: 'going in your closet and crying yourself to sleep won't help. Get up and take charge of your life!!!'  
  
Ayeka: Wow, that's really profound.  
  
Harry: I know! That Howard Stern is a great philosopher!  
  
(Kouga, Kagome and Inuyasha at restaurant)  
  
Kouga: I'm really surprised the dog-turd hasn't tried to snap my neck since I've bee here.  
  
Kagome: Yeah, considering how bad of a past you guys had. You know, like the time Kouga kidnapped me!  
  
Inuyasha: Inu-senses-tingling----  
  
Kouga: Uh, yeah. Let's not bring up bad memories Kagome-chan, please?  
  
Kagome: But since you guys are on such good terms, what's the harm? I remember how Inuyasha wanted the SHARDS back, but you wouldn't give them.  
  
Kouga: That's not-  
  
Kagome: And you threatened to rape me!  
  
Kouga: WHAT?!?! I never-  
  
Kagome: Don't be shy, Kouga. You know that's what happened. Why not tell Inuyasha the whole story? Well, after Kouga-kun kidnapped me, he tried to get me to have sex with everyone in his clan or whatever, but-  
  
Inuyasha: Meany-sense-tingling. Can't-resist-the-urge. Must-let-them-out. ARRRGGGHHHH!!!!! YOU WHAT?!  
  
Kagome: Inuyasha?!  
  
Inuyasha: Yeah, what is it, bitch?!  
  
Kagome: YOU'RE BACK!!  
  
Inuyasha: Yeah, now get outta my way so I can kick Kouga's ass!  
  
Kouga: Oh, shit.  
END  
  
How was that? Inu-chan is back to normal, and Kouga's going back home in a body-cast. Alls well that ends well! Review this, an look at my other fic while you're at it. It's new, and it's called 'College Years'. And it is, as the title suggest, about the Inu-tachi in college! Please review and tell me what you think. It was written on a sudden impulse.  
  
I hit the 40 mark! Go ahead and give me 50 reviews! Make me proud! You know how it's done! 


	14. Spring Break

TrunksLadee!!! Yes, I'm talking to you, Arielle! STOP REVIEWING MY STORIES!!! My readers on Fanfiction don't need to know how crazy I am!! KAMI!!  
  
Disclaimer: My list is very very short. Real World, Inuyasha, Harry and Tenchi are not on it. As you all know anyways.  
  
The Time I Made Them Play Real World: SPRING BREAK!!  
  
C: Kagome  
  
Kagome: Since this week is spring break, the programmers (BLIC) are sending us to Sidney, Australia! Our plane leaves in today, so everyone's running around doing some last packing.  
  
BC: Harry  
  
Harry: Yoga tapes; spiritually enlightening books; Learn to Talk to Dolphins in Five Easy Steps by Seymour Butts (a/n: that's for Allen, Vivian's sex monkey); Get in Touch With God' Cds. YUP! The gang's all here!  
  
BD: Draco  
  
Draco: I'll yake some flour, eggs, milk, Nestle chocolate chips, EXTRA fudge, speedo, thong, G-string. Can't Forget THAT! Chicken Soup For the Evil Sorcerer/Druggie's Soul; I'm ready to go! Unleash dem' chicks! Draco's coming to town!  
  
(Sasami, Ayeka, Miroku, Sango, and Kagoem)  
  
Kagome: We ALL need new bathing suits!  
  
Sasami: What about Inuyasha?  
  
Kagome: *snort* And I quote: 'why the heck should I go shopping with a stupid wench like you? And anyway, who said I'm going to go swimming?! All I'M going to do is stay in the room, order room service and watch ESPN. Because of you, I missed March Madness. Stupid, unappreciative wench', End quote. And I can't argue with that.  
  
Sango: Why didn't you just 'sit' him?  
  
Kagome: Because the producers said they can't keep replacing the floors. They said I could do it outside, but I couldn't lure him out. I was stuck.  
  
Sasami: Oh well, looks like he'll have to swim in his katana. Is that thing ever cleaned?  
  
Kagome: Nope, I can't get it off him. It's like he HOT glued it to his body. (image comes to mind and she starts laughing)  
  
Sasami: OKAY! Let's get shopping! (walk into bathing suit store)  
  
Miroku: (singing quietly to himself) she wore a teeny weeny itsy-bitsy yellow polka dot bikini, that she wore for the first time today!  
  
Sango: Could you stop singing that?!  
  
Miroku: But I like the song! Maybe YOU should start eating Yoplait! Then you can wear a teeny-weeny itsy-bitsy yellow polka dot bikini on the trip.  
  
Sango: I'm not fat! Besides, why should you care? I bet you'd rather us go skinny-dipping.  
  
Miroku: As a matter of fact.  
  
Sango: (knocks him out with Hiriakotsu)  
  
Sasami: O-kay. O__o  
  
(Inuyasha sitting on bed)  
  
Inuyasha: Stupid Kagome.. In the broom closet. sold you to Naraku. that'll be the day! Bonding with Hojou. FEH! IT'S ALL HER FAULT ANYWAYS! (Shippou walks in) Feh, what the hell do you want, brat?  
  
Shippou: I want things to go back to the way they were, so.  
  
Inuyasha: So?  
  
Shippou: Kami, I know I'm gonna regret this later.  
  
Inuyasha: Regret what?!  
  
Shippou: (pulls out water gun and shoots Inuyasha in the eye) GOTCHA!! Catch me if you can, dog-boy!  
  
(runs off laughing like a loon)  
  
(Ayeka sitting in counseling with Harry)  
  
Ayeka: I don't know if I want to go to Australia.  
  
Harry: Don't allow your fun to be soiled by one person! Seize the moment!  
  
Ayeka: But a cloud has passed over my life.  
  
Harry: I believe I know what's wrong with you. You miss Tenchi, don't you?  
  
Ayeka: Um. no.  
  
Harry: You must! A least a little!  
  
Ayeka: Not really. I'm drawin' a blank.  
  
Harry: Where is Tenchi anyway?  
  
Ayeka: Do I look, like I care?  
  
Harry: You have a point.  
  
(Draco and kitchen with headphones on)  
  
Draco: (singing, his own version of Grinding) BaKING! BaKING! You already know what I'm making and don't think I'm faking, when you see a wizard like me baking!  
  
(Shippou flies past screaming like a girl, Inuyasha right behind him)  
  
(Entire cast @ airport)  
  
Inuyasha: There's no way in hell I'm getting on that giant metal bird.  
  
Kagome: Well that's the only way to get to Australia Dog-boy, so you're going to have to whether or not you want to.  
  
Inuyasha: Who do you think you are, stupid bitch?! You don't run anything!  
  
Kagome: YOU'RE GOING TO SIT *BAM* ON THE PLANE AND ENJOY THE FbleepIN' RIDE! So THERE! SIT!! SIT!!! SIT!! SIT!!! SIT!! SIT!!! (multiple thuds)  
  
(on plane)  
  
Flight Attendant: in the case of an emergency, strap the emergency masks about your head, in such a way, and stay calm. Now, if there are no more questions, I will start serving refreshments. (comes to Miroku and Sango) Hello sir, would you like some nuts?  
  
Miroku: Would YOU? (Sango turns red and knocks him out)  
  
(Shippou sitting in between Inuyasha and Kagome. Not looking fairly well)  
  
Shippou: I don't feel so well, Kagome.  
  
Kagome: Sorry, Shippou, I forgot how motion sick you can be. Sit tight and I'll go get you something to make you feel better. Inuyasha, I swear if you let anything happen to Shippou, I'll s-word you right through the floor of this plane!  
  
Shippou: I- I- think- I'm-gonna  
  
Inuyasha: Hey, you heard Kagome! Don't go turnin' green on me. Hey, Shippou, you okay? Why is your face all green like that? (sweatdrops anime- style)  
  
Shippou: *barf* (on Inuyasha's lap) Sorry, Inuyasha. I didn't mean to.  
  
(Inuyasha looks like he's gonna rip someone's head off. He looks like that a lot, though, that's not a very good metaphor. Oh well, just imagine it anyways!)  
  
(scenery of Australia: kangaroo, desert, more desert, canyon, some city, oh wait, that's Sidney, the three fish head lookin' things, you know what I'm talkin' about)  
  
Sasami: WOAH! This hotel rocks my socks!  
  
Inuyasha: Feh. I'll be in the room watching tapes of 'MarchMadness'. Oh, and anyone needs the phone, I've got it, so kiss my ass and use a payphone. (walks into room and slams door)  
  
Kagome: Least we know where he'll be the whole time.  
  
Shippou: Hey Kagome, can we go to the beach?!  
  
Kagome: That's a great idea, Shippou-chan! I bet everyone else will want to go.  
  
Harry: It'll give me a chance to practice my dolphin articulating skills!  
  
Miroku: And for me to check out the beach bunnies! Speaking of which, hey Sango, why don't you model that bikini you bought?  
  
Sango: 15 feet at all times, Houshi-sama. 15 FEET!!  
  
Hermione: Me and Ron are gonna stay here. His hair tends to blind people.  
  
Draco: What ever floats your boat and find your lost remote!!! (everyone: O__O?)  
  
(Kagome on beach playing beach ball with Shippou, Sasami and Ayeka building sand castle, Miroku chasing women, Sango chasing Miroku and Harry by the shore)  
  
Harry: Eek! Eek! Squeak!! Eek eeeeekkkkk! COME MY DOLPHIN FRIENDS!!! COME TO ME!!!  
  
Shippou: What's wrong Harry?  
  
Kagome: A lot of things, Shippou. A lot of things.  
  
(Inuyasha staring at Inuyasha like it's going to tell him how to breathe with bowl of popcorn)  
  
Inuyasha: *drool* I can't believe I missed this because of that stupid wench! She's gonna pay!  
  
(Tenchi and Ryoko back @ apartment)  
  
Ryoko: Everyone's gone already, so there's no one here to save you! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!  
  
(back in Australia; everyone's having a pool party)  
  
Kagome: Inuyasha! You have to come out sometime!  
  
Inuyasha: Feh. NO, you stupid bitch! You made me miss March Madness!! I'll never forgive you for this!  
  
Kagome: Oh, grow up! You're such a baby!  
  
Harry: You are being rather unsociable, Inuyasha. Perhaps human interaction will help drown out some of your clamminess.  
  
Inuyasha: Shutup, dolphin-boy!!! 'Sides, I hate humans, so I don't need no stinkin' human contact.  
  
Miroku: So you're fonder of Shippou, Sesshoumaru and Naraku than us? *smirk*  
  
Inuyasha: HELL NO!  
  
Kagome: That's what you just said.  
  
Inuyasha: GAH!! I'm all out of popcorn! But I can't go pop some more or I'll miss instant replays!! Oh, the choices. THE CHOICES!!!  
  
*two days later*  
  
Hermione: I'm sad to be leaving Australia.  
  
Ron: Yeah, and to think we never got to see the sunlight.  
  
Sasami: Wonder why THAT was.  
  
Kagome: Everybody ready to go?  
  
Inuyasha: Feh. Can we just get going? The sooner I get on that 'airplane' thingy, the sooner I get off.  
  
(and suddenly there's a voice, somewhat like the voice of narrartor's of the 'Power Puff Girls', but deeper and more mellow)  
  
Narrator: And so, the Real World crew packed their bags and arrived back at their sunny house or whatnot and did absolutely nothing. That is all.  
Sorry about the narrator, I tell you I'm becoming more and more lazy as the days go on. I was dreading having to finish typing this, don't know why. But I'll sure as hell be booted off the internet for even longer if someone catches me on it. And yes, this is one of my worse chapters, I tell you it's laziness! It should be considered a syndrome. LS, how's that? Well, enough of me rambling, review!! 


	15. Leaving Soon

Hello! I am sad to say (well kind of not) that I will be retiring the 'Real World' as of next week. I had loads of fun writing it, but what with graduation and now my fic 'College Years', time really ain't on my side. Of course, I won't end the show with tears and junk! Oh no, if any one of my readers have learned something about me, is that conformity is NEVER an option, and you can bet your spinal cords that it'll go out with a big bang. Oh yes, a very BIG bang.  
  
See, last week, my school did a production of a certain play. And now, I'm addicted to it. Yes, I drive Bunny, NNG, Miroku~luver and BuyoGal crazy by singing the songs every waking minute they're around (although I got a rather threatening warning from Vivian, who was in the play and sick of the songs) and it's funny to annoy the crap outta them! So, I'm not gonna tell you what the musical is, but brownie points to anyone who gets it! Oh, and all you people like the Lemon Queen and that Loon Meggy (you know who you are) do not give it away or I'll fry your asses when I see you at school! 


End file.
